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| If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer. |
More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.
The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.
In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.
An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.
When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.
I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.
This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?
What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?
Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?
It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!
Love
Carina
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