I love me just the way I am! “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” - African Proverb

I few days a week I like to sing a love song to myself. Yes, you got it! To myself! Why? Because I love music, and I love to sing and whenever I sing I feel good. So I stand in front of the mirror and I look myself in the eyes and I sing to myself. And it makes me feel great. Usually I sing the song of the day more than once because it might take a while to get in to the mood and to really feel the words I am singing.

 

So what good does this do? Well, it tells me that I love me in a happy way, it makes me respect myself because if I am worth loving than, hey, how good am I!?? It makes me take a good look at myself with different eyes, like it is somebody else looking, and it makes me realise that I am pretty damn nice to look at. Even without my clothes on! (Yes, sometimes I am naked when I do it) It also makes me laugh because towards the end of the fifth time it gets a bit worn out and I start to make funny faces. And who better to laugh at me than me!!

When I sing I try to start by looking myself in the eyes, and then I try to list the good things about me and be grateful for those things, and I am talking about the physical things more than anything else right now. We are usually our worst critic and often tend to tell ourselves all the stuff we are not really happy about with ourselves and our bodys. When I do this I try to set a trend in my mind to see and to remember all the good things about me instead, because I know there is plenty of them. I just need to accept that and to be thankful for everything.

My choice of song today was Billy Joel and "I love you just the way you are". Brilliant lyrics to sing to yourself, or somebody else if you want to.

What do you do to make yourself feel better about yourself? Do you have a routine that helps putting you in the right state of mind to tell yourself how good you are? Tell me, maybe I can learn something from you.

I wish you all a good night/evening/day wherever you are, and remember to tell yourself how great and fantastic you are!

Love

Carina

10 Things You Should Do Every Day ("If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy)

Most of us wake up in the morning, follow the same little routine without thinking about what we are doing, we go to work and then home, we cook because we have to, we eat because we need to and eventually we go to bed without having done, thought or felt anything special. The next day is the same, the next week is the same, the next month is the same, even the next year is the same. And so life goes on without leaving any marks on you, and you go on without leaving any marks on life.

If you want to be happy you have to think happy! Today!

Here is a list of 10 things you can, and should do every day to change your feelings about your life without changing your life (much):

Be happy and grateful for all the good things you've got in your life. We all have a lot of things to be happy and grateful for. That we are alive, that we have a bed to sleep in, our partner, kids, family, friends and pets, that we have food on our table every day, that we can read and hear, that we have a house to live in, that we have a table in our house, that we woke up in the morning, that we have a heart to love with.. Nothing is too big or too small to recognise and be grateful for. 

Plan your day, fill it with happy thoughts and happy feelings. When you go to sleep at night make sure you plan the next day, not so much in actions as in feelings. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a good day no matter what comes your way. Nothing will disturb your peace of mind. You will smile and be grateful and happy for everything all day long. When you wake up in the morning remember those thoughts and the feeling you had when you thought them. 

Smile and laugh as much as you possibly can. Even if there is nothing obvious to smile or laugh about do it anyway. Sing a happy little song, take some silly dance steps, think of something funny, try to make up a joke to tell your friends at work. Think of all the things you are grateful and happy for. Remember the first love you felt for your partner, or child. Find something to think about that will make you smile everytime you think about it, or do something that will make you smile everytime you do it, if you find yourself being a bit down.

Tell someone you love them. When you tell someone you love them it will make you feel good. It's as simple as that.

Make someone feel good about themselves. Say something nice to someone who's not expecting it. Tell a stranger they look very nice, Smile at someone you meet on the street. Tell your boss you enjoy working with him or her. Tell a friend about a good quality you think they have. Tell your partner or your child that you are proud of them. It will make their day, lift them up and that will make your day and lift you up.

Enjoy everything you eat and drink. Food and beverages are so much more than just something we need. It is tasty, and nice, and it helps your body and you to feel good. Make sure to learn what foods and drinks you feel good eating and drinking. Everybody is different and feel good from eating and drinking different things. Avoid what makes you feel physically and mentally bad, stay with the good stuff. And enjoy!

Do something creative; write,draw, cook or move your furniture around. What makes you drift away for a while, what connects you to your inner self? Most people have some kind of a creative pet peeve within them. Whether it is writing, drawing, painting, jig saw puzzling, cooking, working out doesn't matter, just do it! Half an hour every day is enough to calm yourself down and get in touch with yourself.

Relax and enjoy it. This is very important! Most people do not realise how important relaxing is for you. When you relax you load your batteries, not only the bodily batteries but also your brain and emotions. Take your time to just sit there without doing anything whatsoever for at least 10 minutes a day, and learn how to enjoy it. Again, you can think of all the good things in your life, or the feeling of being completely relaxed.

Love yourself. The root to everything is to love yourself. Find the good things about you, do you like your eyes think of them. Do you like how you always try to improve as a human being, focus on that. Do you like your hair today, love it. Are you a caring person, embrace and notice that. Make a mental list of all the things you like about you, and remember to remember them every day.

Do at least one thing that will bring you closer to a dream. Every person alive has dreams, things they would love to do, have or be. Find out what your dreams are (and yes it is probably that thing you are telling yourself that it's not because you can't fulfill it anyway) and do at least one thing every day to bring you closer to that dream. Do you want to be fit, find out what foods are good for you and what kind of work out you enjoy and then eat that food (while enjoying it) and do that work out. Is your dream to travel, start making plans, saving money, looking at flights and hotells. Is it to write a book, start writing, anything. Whatever your dream is you can achieve it, but you have to take steps in that direction. It will not happen all on it's own. First thing is to allow yourself to recognise your dreams.

If you do these things every day I promise you it will make you feel better, you will start to enjoy your life more and your dreams will begin to come true! Enjoy and good luck!

Read about Leo Tolstoy! 

Love
Carina

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." - Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true." - Napoleon Hill

You have got the power to make your dreams come true. Are you using that power?

We, as human beings, have the possibility to dream and the power to make our dreams come true. I know that because I have done it my whole life; although it took me quite a long time to realise what my dreams were.

My son is my first dream coming true, although I wasn't really aware of it back then. I have young parents myself and I always wanted to become a young mother, I didn't expect to be quite as young and alone, but there he was; my beautiful baby boy. 22 years later he is still my baby and I couldn't be more proud of him.

My second dream coming true is to live abroad, by the ocean in the sun. That dream came true two and half years ago out of a sudden decision in chaos. The cold and dark weather in Sweden never did appeal to me, although I can enjoy cuddling up in the sofa under a rug with candles lit and a nice book to read. I can that here too, though.

My third dream coming true is to meet my dream man. I did and he is no longer in my dreams but in my reality and my every day life and I am loving and enjoying every second of it. He is everything I ever wanted in a man but more and better.

My fourth dream coming true is to make money writing, and this dream is coming true right now. My new job gives me that opportunity. That's all I can say about it at the moment since it's so fresh that it hasn't really sunk in yet.

I am now looking forward to whatever dream it is that will come true next, because I am positive I have got more coming to me.

With exception of my first dream coming true when I was very young (although that was a part of the dream) it took me a long time to have the rest of them come to me. I am sure that is because I wasn't ready for them earlier. I think you need to be in the right state of mind and the right state of believing in yourself and your dreams for them to come true.

What state of mind and state of believing in yourself and your dreams are you in? Are your dreams coming true?

To learn more about Napoleon Hill, read here.Mr Hill was born 128 years ago today, so Happy Birthday to him!

Love

Carina

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J K Rowling

Are you who you want to be or are you someone that has abilities to be who you want to be? The choice is all yours!

Who are you? Do you know? How do you know? Is it because what you think, or know, you can do or is it based on what you actually do? There is a huge difference there.

I, for instance, have always known I could write, but I never did. Just knowing that I could didn't make me a writer. Today I am one, even if it's only on my blog, so far. The difference being that I actually do write today. I have taken action. 

J K Rowling, Agatha Christie, Stieg Larsson, Mark Twain or any other writer wouldn't be authors/writers if they hadn't chosen to share their written words with us. They made a difference, in their own lives as well as in a lot of other people lives. But it's not their abilities that shows us who they are/were, it is the fact that they chose to share them.

Do you think you are a fantastic girlfriend, or boyfriend (husband or wife, friend, parent and so on)? Well, what is it that makes you fantastic in that sense? Do you actually live up to being fantastic, or is it all just in your head? Do you do those amazing things that make the difference between ordinary or special? Or do you settle for knowing that you could do them if you had to?

You might have a fantastic voice, but that does not make you a singer. Or you might have the ability to run really, really fast but that doesn't make you the fastest runner in the world. However, if you make the choice to use your voice and sing, if only on weddings or private events then you are, indeed, a singer. And if you compete in running against others, it might still not make you the fastest runner alive, but at least it will make you a runner.

Is there something you are good at, but you never tried to pursue? Maybe it is time to do something about that? It is like with dreams, they are there for a reason. You have a certain ability for a reason. I know how to write, because it is what makes me happy but also because I believe I can help making other people happy by letting them read what I write.

I had a discussion the other day about helping the people starving in Africa. A friend of mine said that if she would come into a lot of money she would go to Africa and help the people there. I, on the other hand, said that even if I had money I wouldn’t go there, I do however give money every month to different help organisations working there, even though I might not think I have the money for it. Why I wouldnt go there? Because I know that I couldn't handle seeing all the suffering and knowing that I could never ever do enough to save all of the people would break me, because that is who I am. But I still choose to help in a way I can handle. It doesn't make me a worse person than my friend; it only makes me more sensitive than her.

So who am I? I am a sensitive but caring person who is lazy when I'm not active, I am a fantastic girlfriend (at least sometimes), a not all too bad mother, a good and sometimes even great friend and sister and I am a writer and a waitress. I am a lot of other things too, but most of all I am ME, I am Carina. One of a kind!

Who you are is a choice you make. It's like a colouring book, where you can chose what colours to use. Or an empty notebook where you can write down what and who you want to be. That's what I do. I've written down my dreams about my life and who I want to.

Who are you? Are you who you want to be or are you only a person with abilities to be someone you want to be?

Love
Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." - John C. Lilly

It's a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It's true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don't change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can't control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven't complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn't showing at first sight. And if not, it's not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn't changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

If you let fear control your life, you will never get what you want.

Do you chose not to do something because you are afraid of failing? I know a lot of people do and I sure have. I try not to think that way anymore though. I mean, what good does it do me to not even try to do something I want to do?

I have friends who dream about meeting the Right Man or Woman, most people do. Only these particular friends have bad experiences from bad relationships in the past and now they are afraid to give it another try. The problem with that way of thinking is that if they don't try again they can never heal and they will never find Mr och Miss Right. If you are one of those people you need to read this!

To heal from that sort of experiences you need to put yourself in similar situations and learn that every person you meet and every relationship you have is different. If you tend to choose the same kind of partner, that hurt you or treat you badly in same kind of way, over and over again then you need to have a good look at yourself, but you should never ever stop trying. The hard truth is that if you stop trying you will never get it right. You might not get hurt ever again, but you will not be loved, or love, the way you dream of ever again either.

I have been in plenty of "bad" relationships, I have never been physically abused but I have been mentally abused in a couple of them and cheated on in almost all of them. It has never stopped me from trying again and again; it has never stopped me from giving the next guy a chance. Although I have a fantastic boyfriend and an amazing relationship now, I still struggle with feelings of insecurity sometimes. I still fear that I am not enough, or that I'm not able to love the way I want to be loved and yet I KNOW that I am enough to my boyfriend and that he does love me the way I want to be loved. So, you see, I do have the fear but I am healing every day thanks to what I have today, thanks to my lovely Man. But if I hadn't given him a chance, I would still be alone, wounded and scared and I would never ever have found the Right Man for me.

The same philosophy goes for everything you want in life. My fear of striking out got in the way of my dream about writing, but I'm not letting the fear win anymore. Fear is something that is fabricated in one's head; fear is something you can control. You are in charge and the biggest way of striking out is to not even take the shot.

To learn more about "Babe" Ruth read this and this.

Love
Carina

"Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals" - Jim Rohn

Keep working towards your goals and love every part of your life, and you are successful.

What is success to you? When do you reckon someone is successful, or has a successful life? Do you think of yourself as successful? What are your criteria for success?

Whether you are successful or not is all up to you and how you define it. For me it is about being happy in all areas of life. You are not successful if only one or two areas are a success, although you are on your way. Everybody has to start somewhere.

If I take myself as an example, I believe that I am successful and that I have a successful life. I am constantly growing as a human being and I am working towards my personal goals. I have two jobs that I love, I've enrolled to a writer's course that I want to do and I am learning the language of the country I live in. Career wise I am a very busy woman right now and I love all the things I do. Unfortunately, that is not ideal because I do not have enough spare time or as much time with my boyfriend as I would like to have, but it is only for another month. The reason we don't have much time together right now is that he works daytime and I work night time. But we always have Sundays when we are both off, so it is workable for the short period of time it lasts. Why am I doing this? Well, it is so I can get the money for my courses and to bring in some extra money for the winter when I will be spending a lot of time writing and studying to get an even better life in the future. The Spanish classes will make it easier for me to find a good day time job and the writer's course will eventually help me support myself writing. I consider myself successful career wise because I am doing something I love so I can do something else I love even more in the future. I am, in short, happy in my career and that makes me successful in my work life.

I am also happy in my life in total which makes me successful there as well. I have a fantastic man that I love and that loves me, my son is doing well and I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I love where I live and I love myself, just as I am, but I am always striving to get better and to make my life better. I am working for abundance in all areas of my life and I am happy when doing so. That to me is success.

So, are you successful in all areas of your life? What do want to change, and what do you need to do to change it?

Read more about Jim Rohn here.

Love
Carina

"Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear." - Albert Camus

Respect is one of the keys to a fulfilling and happy life.

Respect. One of the most important words and meanings of life. Respect is of utter most importance if you want to have a good life. The big question is what respect is. I know a lot of people misplace respect with fear. In my own personal opinion fear and respect are two completely different things. I even believe that they have got nothing at all to do with one another.

After the riots happening in the UK last month I've had more than one discussion about the cause of them, more than one of my British friends have expressed the opinion that the problem is that people have no fear for the police. They also thought that the kids don't fear their parents these days. When they were kids they wouldn't dream about doing anything like that because they were too afraid of the cops but even more scared of their parents. To me that sounds just as crazy as the riots themselves. The riots happened because the rioters have no respect for themselves or anybody else. They have not been taught to respect other people and other people's properties. I didn't fear the police and I wasn't scared of my parents, but I was taught to respect my parents and the police, and everybody else for that matter. But most of all I was taught to respect myself, and I would never sink to disrespect myself that much. And I taught my son about respect too, he’s got no fear for me and never had. He never did anything bad to anybody else, or himself, because he’s got respect for himself and others. Also, my parents respected me for who I am, and was, and I have always had a great respect for my son for being exactly who he is. That is one of the keys, you can not be respected by someone you don't respect. It all starts with you!

I don’t think that respect can be based on fear, because fear is fear and respect is respect. There is a big difference. I respect myself, and I do it because I deserve it. I have fought hard and done my best most part of my life. I have not always done the best thing and I have made a lot of mistakes too, but at the end of the day I have come out with both feet on the ground always learning how to become a better person in all areas of life. I respect myself tremendously for that, and because I earned my own respect other people respect me too.

Because I can respect myself I also respect other people. I know how to differ between respect for a person or for a person's act. I can respect an act without respecting the person, and I can respect a person without automatically respecting every act of that same person.

I would never be able to respect someone that tries to demand respect by trying to make people scared of him/her. By making people fear you, in my opinion, you lose all rights to be respected. Respect yourself and respect others, for who you are and for who they are, and people will respect you. It is as simple as that.

To learn more about Albert Camus, read this, this or this.

Love
Carina

"When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come." – Oprah Winfrey

I don't live to work, I work to have a good life.

Do you ever do nothing? Or are you the kind of person that has to have something to do all the time? Do you not do enough?

I believe that the right combination of keeping busy and being still is necessary to be able to enjoy all parts of life. If all you do is work hard, spend time exercising, doing your hobbies, cleaning the house, feeding the family, driving the kids you have no time to really enjoy any of it. If you on the other hand don't do anything at all, just lay around the house all day, every day then you don't appreciate that either. I think that you need both to enjoy any of it, to enjoy life.

Life is supposed to be enjoyed, and all the different parts of life are supposed to be enjoyed too. You have to appreciate the details to appreciate the completeness of it. And you have to appreciate the completeness of it to appreciate the details of it. It's all about abundance, everything goes hand in hand.

To appreciate being busy you have to have moments, times when you are doing absolutely nothing. When you can sit back and just dream. You need time to sit back and long to do something, time for yourself, time to drift away in fantasies, a book, a film or inside yourself. Time to listen to music or to your own heart beat or breaths. Time to relax and just be lazy. Being lazy is good sometimes!

On the other end of the scale is being very busy, and that is just as important. If you are never really busy you will have a hard time appreciate being in stillness. You need days, maybe weeks or sometimes a couple of months of being busy to really enjoy being still and do absolutely nothing at all. You can work hard 6 days a week, as long as you don't do anything, don't have a lot of have-to's on the 7th.

You need to keep busy to learn, but you need the stillness to grow. To be able to make use of what you learn. You need to love every moment of being busy, because you know that you would want so badly to be busy if you didn't have anything to do at all. You also need to love every moment of doing nothing because you know you would give everything for a few hours of peace and quite if you had too much to do.

How much of everything someone needs is all individual, everybody is different. But a person can not grow as a human being without both being busy and being still. Make sure you have both parts in your life, it will make your life richer and it will make you a stronger and happier person.

I ususally say; "I don't live to work, I work to have a good life and if I don't enjoy my work I won't enjoy my life" Make sure you enjoy every single part of your life!

To read more Oprah quotes I’ve written about just look here, to learn more about Oprah read here or here.

Love
Carina

"Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can." - Elsa Maxwell

If you laugh at yourself first, people will laugh with you instead of at you.

Sometimes in life you find yourself in a strange and weird situation, or you do something clumsy in a situation where clumsiness doesn't belong. How do you handle those situations? You laugh at it and you laugh at yourself.

I am going to tell you a true story out of my life as an example on how to handle a situation like that. A few years ago I was sitting in my favourite bar with a few people I knew vaguely, I was waiting for a friend of mine to come and pick up some money from me, and I was also waiting for another friend to come and join me for a drink. This was a Thursday night and I had been to visit my son's school earlier that evening. In Sweden we have a kind of tobacco that is called "snus" that you put under your lip. It comes in little round boxes that look a little bit like ice hockey pucks. The type I was using comes in small portion bags. Anyway, the three other people at the table also used "snus" and since I was the only one that had any, I shared mine. After a while my friend who was picking up the money called to tell me that she was outside, but she had her daughter with her so she didn't want to come inside. I went outside to give her the money and I came back in after about 10 minutes. A while later we saw a police car pull up outside, which wasn't that unusual since they dropped in from time to time to see that everything was alright. Except that this time they didn't come inside. There were maybe 10 other people sitting in the bar, of which I didn't know four. Two women sitting in the bar and a couple of men sitting at a table.

About ten minutes later the two cops came in, looked around and came straight up to our table. They asked me if they could talk to me and I said, in surprise and fear, that of course they could. Had something happened to my son? Was the thought that went through my head. They then asked if I would come outside with them, and I said yes. They asked me if it was my bag on the table and I said yes. They closed it and took it with us. They asked me to sit in the police car and one of them got in at the front and the other one next to me in the back and then they started to ask me all sorts of different questions. Name and address and such things, had I been at the bar long, how much I had to drink, what did I do earlier that evening, how well did I know the people I was sitting with and so on. By then I was sure it had nothing to do with my son, but probably with one of the other people at the table. My mobile kept ringing in my bag but they wouldn't let me answer it and after a while one of them got out and went into the bar and came out with the people at my table and talked to them. By this time I've given up trying to figure out what it was all about. The police woman in the car with me, asked me if I was nervous and I answered her that I wasn't because I didn't know what I was supposed to be nervous about. She asked me if I had done anything illegal and I said, not unless it's illegal to have a couple of beer on a Thursday night. She laughed and said that it wasn't. I asked what it was all about, and she said that she couldn't tell me until they spoken to "the woman". I had no idea who she was talking about. After about half an hour they let me out, and gave me my bag back and they told me that one of the women sitting in the bar had called in to say that I was dealing drugs in the bar and that she's seen me go outside to give someone money. I started to laugh when I realised that what she had seen was me sharing my "snus" with the others. I offered the cops to go through my coat and my bag, but they just laughed and said that it's ok; they didn't think I was a drug dealer.

Funniest thing is that I have never, ever tried a drug in my life, except for alcohol and tobacco and everybody who knows me knows that. When I came back in, everybody wanted to know what it was all about and when I told them they all had a good laugh. By then 10 more people was in the bar, all people I knew. The woman that called it in stayed and didn't even come up to me to apologize. Unfortunately I didn't have any "snus" left; otherwise I would have walked up to her and in a suspicious way asked her if she wanted to buy some.

Now, this is a small town where everybody gossips about everybody and I knew that this story would be out in a heart beat. To avoid the worst of it  I just laughed at it and I made it a point to tell everybody I met about it myself, I also made it into a joke and offered people to buy some “snus” off me, since apparently I was the big “snus” dealer in town. People still talked about it, but they did it in a humourus kind of way instead of a gossipy way. Why? Because I was the first one to laugh about it!!

As a waitress I have use of this method too, whenever I make a mistake with a guest I admit my mistake, apologize for it and then I laugh and joke about it. Who can be mad at someone that handles a mistake that way? Not a lot of people.

Laugh at yourself first; it makes life more fun and a lot easier. And it makes others think more highly of you. Don't take yourself too seriously, if you do, other people will find it hard to take you seriously.

If you want to learn more about Elsa Maxwell, follow this link.

Love
Carina

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." – George Bernard Shaw

Your life is your creation.

There are so many ways to look upon life, and every person has their own view or views. I have more than one view and this quote states one of them. Those of you that have been following Quality Inside And Out knows that I am all about personal responsibility of your own life. It is all up to you how your life was, is or will be. You create it and you create yourself. There is no blame, only lack of knowledge.

So, who do you want to be? What kind of person do you admire? What would you like to do? What type of partner do you want to spend your life with? Do you want to spend your life with someone? What is happiness to you? Do you think you are lost in life? How much money do you want to have? What would you do if you had a lot of money?

These are all good question that are worth asking yourself. I can only help you answer one of them. Do you think you are lost in life? If you think so, you are wrong. Life isn't place where it is possible to get lost, because you control it. You control where you are and who you are. So stop looking for yourself and start creating yourself.

Personally I believe that as soon as you acknowledge the fact that you are in charge of yourself, who you are and where you are in life, you will start to change automatically and by default. You can't help not to. I believe that we all have an inner urge to be the best that we can be. Sure, there are some people that will fight that feeling because they are unsecure and scared of what might come out of it. Don't be. I don't believe it is possible for people to change into something worse then they are if they are striving to be better. The trip might not be straight ahead full speed the whole time, but at times it will be. Sometimes the road will be very bumpy and sometimes the road you're on will be closed so you will have take a detour. That is not a bad thing. That is when you will learn the most about how to create yourself into who you want to be.

I've been on this trip as long as I can remember, and I will keep being on it for the rest of my life. I change, the world around me change, my needs and wants change, my inspirations change, well, everything change. I love changes, because changes allows me to see and/or do something new, it will create new visions and new goals. Or it will give me a new way to get to my goal. What I do with it is all up to me, I will create the end result of it.

I am creating me, and I know I will love the end result. I know so because I love every step on the way, whatever it is that I want in life I am getting it because I only want what I love, so I will love the end result whatever it will be. Will you be pleased with the end result of you?? Or will you love it?

To learn more about George Bernard Shaw follow this link, or read here or here.

Love Carina

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." - Martin Luther King Jr.

You don't need to see the whole staircase to take the first step.

This is one of my favourite quotes because it reminds me of that I don't have to know what's coming after the next step. All I can do is to take one step at a time. That doesn't mean that I can't have a goal in sight, it only means that the road to the goal has to be open for what ever shows up on the way there. It reminds me of not being afraid of what might happen sometime in the future. It reminds me not to be afraid of failure, because the failure might not come. It also reminds me not to be scared of success, because success is my goal.

Right now, at this time in my life, at this specific moment there is nothing to fear. Because I am where I am and nothing can ever change that. A while ago I wasn't where I am today and if I had been scared of being where I am today I might not have taken the step to get here. That would have been a shame, there is nothing scary where I am today, quite the opposite. I like being here, it is a good place to be. I like this step, but then again, I have liked every step I've been at. I have to, I created them and it would be stupid to create something for myself that I didn't like.

The quote is also telling me that there is only one step at a time. If I take one step, it will be my first step. When I am on that step I can, when time is right, take the next step. However the next step is only one step too and it's your choice how you look upon it. I choose to see every step as the first step, because whatever step I am on, the next step is only one step away. And I can never go back to the steps I've already been on. Why would I want to? Those steps are not for me anymore, I outgrew them. I can only take one step at a time, so why try to take more than that, why try to think several steps ahead. Things might change on the next step, so that whatever I had planned for "step two" is no longer relevant.

Know what your goal is, at least roughly. I know that my goal is to support myself on my writing. I don't know at this point in my life what kind of writing, I don't know how it will come about or when it will happen. I just know that it will happen. A few months ago my first step was to start a blog, well, I did that and here I am, on that step. Not until I got to this step did I know what my next step is. My next step is to enrol to the writing course. What the step after that will be I do not know. And I don't need to know. I can only live my life right now. And right now I am enjoying the step I am on. Right now I know what my new first step will be. When I am on that step, I will learn to know what my next new first step will be. When the time is right. I am not wasting my time trying to figure it out. I will know when I get there, when the time to move up another step is there.

I can't see the whole staircase, I can only see the contours of my goal. It is enough for me to know that it is there and all I have to do is to just take the first step and don’t worry about the next step on the staircase!

To learn more about Martin Luther King Jr, read here and here.

The Optimist Creed (part 10,11 and 12)

If you're true to who you are, the world is always on your side!

* Promise yourself to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Do you spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things that might happen? Do you get angry a lot, or easily? Do you fear certain situations in life? Are you troubled about something? If you are worried, angry, fearful or troubled (one or all of them) you are not doing yourself a favour. The person that is most affected by any of those feelings or states of mind are you. And for what purpose, worry never leads anywhere, anger creates more anger, feeling fear holds you back and if you're troubled you spend your time thinking negative thoughts instead of focusing on the positive things in your life. Be too large for fear, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble and I promise you, you will be a much happier person.

* Promise yourself to think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
I am my biggest fan! Not in a bragging kind of way, but the fact is that nobody can ever make a better job being me, than me, so why shouldn't I be proud and impressed and think that I am awesome. Now, I'm only proclaiming this here so you will get the point in this, I don't usually go around telling people that I'm the best. One reason is that, hopefully, to them it's not true. To them they themselves should be the best. I know I can do whatever I want to do, if I have my heart set on it. I know that I am fantastic in most ways, and I don't have to tell people that, because I act it so they already know it. If I act in the best way I possibly can, nobody will think badly of me, but most important of all. I won't think badly of myself. So I think well about myself and act accordingly. That is all that is to it. That is how I proclaim my greatness to the world.

* Promise yourself to live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you? I did, but I've come to realise that that is not the case. The only thing, or person, that can be against you is you. Or, nothing can be against you unless you are against you. Do you ever feel like something is unfair? Well, it's not. As long as you are true to the best that is in you, the whole world will be on your side. Sure, you will still experience loss and sorrow because that is a part of life, that is for us to learn and remind ourselves of the life we're in. I learned that when my dad died, because the one wish he had was that me and the rest of his loved ones would live the lives of our dreams, that we would be happy and love each other and ourselves. He didn't wish for himself to be well and stay alive. He wanted us to follow our dreams and be true to ourselves. The world is never against you, unless you allow it to be, it is your choice. If you can't change the situation, change how you think about it. Be true to yourself, and believe that the world is there for you, if you want it.

I try to read "the Optimist Creed" (here is the creed and everything I've written about it)  by Christian D. Larson more or less every day, to remind myself of who I am and who I want to be. I think that if you try to live your life following these "rules", you're life will be amazing. I want my life to be amazing. My life actually is amazing already, because I live it by these "rules". My doctor used to say; "You should be in the driver's seat of your life, nobody else can get you where you want to go". Take control, be in charge, love yourself and your world and the world and your life will love you back.

The Optimist Creed (part 7,8 and 9)

Smile to people you meet, and the world will be a nicer place.

Here are the next three parts of "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson. You can read all of it, and my first breakdowns of it here. I first came in contact with the Optimist Creed via "the Secret". A very powerful book and film, by Rhonda Byrne, that I recommend people interested in self growth to read.

* Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

Are you living in the moment, or are you holding on to the past? I wrote about this in an earlier post (you can find it here), and I think it is a very important point. The past is something you can learn from, how to do and how to not do. Whatever mistakes you made before (or good things for that matter) is in the past, and you can never change it or go back to it, so you might as well forget them and let it go. Live today and move towards tomorrow. You got great things to achieve in the future, but to be able to see them when they show up you need to be in the present and not the past.

* Promise yourself to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

Most people like kids and animals and they have no problem smiling at them, but do you smile at adults you meet? Smile at friends and family, but also, smile at strangers on the street. Who knows, you might cheer someone up that is having a terrible day otherwise? When I do that I can see people hesitate at first, but then they break out in a big smile. A smile is more than just an expression; it is energy, a vibration that brings out good feelings in you, and the one you smile at. Smile at the girl behind the till, even if you're stressed and annoyed (which you shouldn't be, but that's a different day's lesson). Smile at yourself in the mirror, everybody looks better when they smile and who doesn't want to look better when they look at themselves in the mirror. So bring out that big, nice smile of yours and put it to use.

* Promise yourself to give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

Are you in a habit of criticizing other people? Do you laugh at peoples clothes, or think bad thoughts about fat people? Well, if you do, you need to stop doing it immediately! They are not your business, only YOU are your business. Whatever you say, or think about others you will bring upon yourself. And let's face it, who are you to judge other people? It's not like you're flawless, right?! Spend your time improving yourself and you will not have time to criticize others. Let people be who they are, and you will be allowed to be who you are. (So you better start finding out who that is)

The Optimist Creed (part 4,5 and 6)

Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. - Christian D. Larson

This is the next three parts of "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson. Here are the first three, and here is the whole creed.

*Promise yourself to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

When something happens in my life, I always try to find something positive about it. I lost my job once, and I was sad and surprised at first, but I also saw that I wasn't happy there and I had already decided to try to find another job in a few months time. So I started to think that maybe this was what I needed to get to that point. Within a week or two I'd been asked to help out at another place, less hours more money. Even though it was only a temporary job I wouldn't have heard about it if I wasn't available. I think that whatever happens, it does so for a reason that you might not be able to see right there and then, but it will lead you closer to what you want in life. So look at the sunny side of life, it makes life easier and more fun.

*Promise yourself to think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

Do you expect the best or do you expect less than that? Most people expect less than the best because of the limiting beliefs they have. (I will get into the subject of limiting beliefs some other day) But if you think of the best, work for the best and expect the best, you will eventually get the best. The best for you, not the best for somebody else. You will get what you expect, as I've mentioned before. Do you think you are the best? I think I am the best, nobody can be me better than I can. And nobody can be you better than you can. So if I'm the best I deserve the best, so I expect the best (and I get the best)

*Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
If your friend lands a job you'd like, or finds the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, or have the most fantastic house, or body, how does it make you feel? Are you genuinely happy for your friend, are you jealous or do you hold a grudge? Holding a grudge is not the same thing as being jealous. Holding a grudge is being jealous AND wanting the job INSTEAD of your friend. It is to NOT want your friend to feel the joy and happiness of getting/having it. Being jealous simply means that you would like it TOO. See the difference? Well, the best thing is neither of them though; the best alternative is to just be happy for your friend. Honestly and lovingly happy! Because the truth is that there are enough good things out there to go around. So you didn’t get that job, you’ll get something else; at least your friend is happy. Be happy and enthusiastic about the success of others and you're more likely to be successful too.

The Optimist Creed (part 1,2 and 3)

Make your life better with "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson.

The other day I posted Christian D. Larson's "the Optimist Creed" (follow the link to read all of it). Today (and a few more days) I would like to discuss the different promises a bit further.

*Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

This is one of my main goals in life! To be so strong in myself, so strong in my peace of mind that nothing can disturb it. This is something very important. I should know myself, what I want, what I feel, what I do and so on, that no matter what happens or what anybody thinks or says I'm not disturbed. Are you that strong? I'm not that strong yet, but I am definitely moving closer to it all the time. The better I know myself, the more control I have of who I am and the more secure I am about what I do, the closer I get to it.

*Promise yourself to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

What do you talk about when you meet people? When somebody asks you how you are, out of courtesy, what do you answer? A lot of people I know and met over the years started going on about the misery in their lives, how bad their stomach is, or that they got a head ache, their bad economy, the hassel they're having with their kids or how tired they are. I used to be like that too, but eventually I started to realise that people started to avoid asking me questions that would bring any of those subjects up. Now, when people ask I only talk about the good stuff in life, and actually I can't even think of any bad stuff in my life anymore. Why should I? Thinking and talking about bad stuff only makes you and the one you're talking to feel bad. Where's the fun in that? Tell people about your good life, lie or don't say anything at all. Everybody will gain from that, most of all you!

*Promise yourself to make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them

Your friends are valuable, I've said it before, and you need to make sure that they know that. If you make a friend (or anybody else for that matter) feel that there is something worthwhile in them, they will treasure your friendship and they will make you feel the same way. And I sure like feeling that there is something other people find worthwhile in me. And I sure like making other people feel happy and important, it's one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel. Call a friend today and tell her/him what she/he means to you. Let them know.

That's it for now, I will, of course, continue with the next few within the next few days. Until then, read and think about it. Use the Creed in your daily life. I read it almost every morning to get myself on the right track, even though I already am most days.

Stay well and grow well! Xx
Carina

The Optimist Creed by Christian D. Larson, 1912

Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself ...

*To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

*To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

*To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

*To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

*To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

*To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

*To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

*To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

*To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

*To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

*To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

*To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

 I will "discuss" the Optimist Creed in the the next few days, so I want you all to read it carefully and think long and hard about it. This is how I try to live my life! Have a great Friday everyone!

Love / Carina 

"I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it." - Johnny Depp

Make sure you enjoy the joyride while you're on it!

As I've mentioned before there a lot of great things going on, happening or about to happen in my life right now, and the other day I found myself a bit lost in all of them. Imagine you are on a joy ride that spins faster and faster, and even though you think, after it's all over, how much fun it was and how much you enjoyed it; all you could think of during the actual ride was how much it was spinning and how fast the world around you passed by. This is what happened to me the other day. I'm in this amazing part of my life, on this really enjoyable ride, and all I could think of was practical stuff and how many things that fell into place and how fast it all happened/happens and what to do next, and other things like that. What I should have been doing was to enjoy it all.

This is the reason why I didn't post anything new for a few days, I had to stop myself from spinning without control and I had to retake the control and make sure I actually enjoy it all when I'm in the middle of it. Not just after it all happened. If I don't enjoy it when it happens then it will be a waste of time, and I don’t like wasting time. Even when I don't really do anything at all, even when I spend a whole day watching television in bed, I don't feel like I'm wasting ithe time or the day, as long as I enjoy it. Life is supposed to be enjoyable and I believe, like Johnny Depp said in the quote, that you need to enjoy the ride while you're on it.

I am never bored because of that, even when I don't do anything or have anything to do I try to enjoy the moment. Who knows when I'll have the chance to not do anything the next time? When I am really busy and have a lot of things to do at the same time, I still try to enjoy myself because tomorrow I might not have anything to do. However, I do prefer the middle way. Being lazy is much more fun when you can't be lazy all the time. Being busy is only enjoyable when you can be be lazy sometimes.

I try to do things I know I enjoy doing, but it's hard to get away with that all the time (and I would probably be bored it I did), but when I have to do something I don't really like I still do my best to enjoy it. I used to hate doing the dishes and one time, many, many years ago I said that to my grandmother when she was doing the dishes after dinner. She told me that she liked doing the dishes because it gave her time to think about life. That stuck in my head and now I really enjoy doing the dishes and I often think of my grandmother. She taught me a lot about life, without me realising it at the time. I wish I had known back then how to enjoy the ride while I was on it.

"If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." - Gerald Good

Make Gratitude your Attitude!

To be thankful for all that you've got and all that you are about to get, is not as easy as you might think. But it’s not as hard as you might think either. It's a matter of opening up your eyes and your heart to your life and focus on all the good things. Gratitude is a very important key if you want to be happy.

When I wake up in the morning I feel love and happiness for waking up next to the most wonderful man, and our cat. I feel grateful for it. As I look out the window and sea the Mediterranean Sea and the horizon above the roof tops, I feel thankful. I feel grateful for my diet that allows me to have cream in my coffee. Being thankful, feeling gratitude is falling in love. I fall in love with all the people, situations and things I feel grateful for. It's great to fall in love with my man over and over again, sometimes several times a day. It makes me happy that I am thankful for everything.

I know what I expect in the future, I know what I want for me in life and I am grateful for that. I know I will get it all, as long as I"m thankful for what is to come. If you think that I sound like a religious fanatic now, you are wrong. I am not religious, although I might be a bit of a fanatic. But here"s the thing. Since I started to be thankful for things in my life (big and small) my life has turned around. I used to be a lot more depressed; I used to think that life treated me bad and unfair. That everybody else was better off than I was. I used to think that I would never find what I wanted in life and that I would never be as happy as I wanted to be.

Do you think that your house is too small, or your clothes are too old? Or maybe your hair is too straight, or your teeth are too yellow? Be grateful that you have a house, and that you have clothes. Be thankful that you still have your own hair and your own teeth. There are possibilities to be grateful for everything, every little detail, in your life. All the things you feel bad about, there is something about them to feel thankful for.

I can't remember what put me on to try thankfulness, but whatever it was I am thankful for it. Today I am happier than I ever thought possible. My dream about living by the blue sea under the warm sun came true. My dream about writing has come true with this blog. My dream of being happy came true. My dream about finding the perfect man for me came true. I believe it all started with gratitude for what I already had, back then. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill and a lot of dreams to expand. They will all come true too, I know that, and I am thankful for it. All my dreams will come true!! How cool is that?!

What are you thankful for in your life? List all the things in your life that you love, no matter how small and silly it seems. Those things are what you should be grateful for, that is what you should focus on. Be grateful, it will change your life around to the better!