"Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they're afraid!" - Bev James

How true this is! I am an expert procrastinator sometimes, especially when there is something I don't want to do, but also when there is something I am scared of doing for one reason or another.

I might want to do it, but I might be afraid that I won't do it well enough, or that I might fail completely. Or I want to do it but what will happen if I actually managed to do it, will it change my life, or even me? Will people look at me differently if I fail or succeed than they do now? Maybe I have expressed strong opinions about something, but along the way of life I have come to realise that it might be as I thought, and maybe people around me will judge me for changing my opinions? Maybe you are afraid that if you do this thing you keep avoiding to do you will lose yourself and who you are?

The list why we put up doing something can be long, but it almost always comes down to fear of some sort. But here's the thing; If you don't do it, you will never know what could come of it! This thing will be an important step in your life. Everything you chose to do, and everything you chose to not do are important steps in your life. It will change you even when you decide not to do something. It is always a matter of choice, and every choice is life changing. Even choices to not act!

The difference between putting something off and doing something is huge though. When you put something off, or when you chose not to do something because you are afraid of doing it, it will keep hanging over you for a long time, maybe for the rest of your life. But when you something, no matter if you fail or succeed in doing it, you can always feel proud for having tried. And that is success, right there!

In other words, if you try you succeed!

So if you have got something you want to do, or need to do, or should do just do it. Now that if you at least try and do your best, you will never ever go wrong.

And of course, always, always, always keep your main goal in sight. Never lose track of who you are inside even when you do something that you might not want to do. Everything you do will help you forward, will you reach your goals as long as you have your main goal in focus while doing it.

This means that you can NEVER go wrong! EVER!!!

"Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they're afraid!" - Bev James

The results might not be what you expected, but it will always be good for you in the end if you keep this in mind.

Carina

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - Maya Angelou

I mentioned the other day that I was hoping to share some good news with you this week. And indeed I do have good news, although not the exact good news I was planning on sharing with you. Anyway, good news are good news.

I have done a lot of work on my attitude for this good news to come my way. A few months ago I would have had split feelings about it, but now I absolutely love it. So, what is it?? I just landed a new job. It is an ordinary job, working at a customer service. But it is a good job, a good company that has a lot of focus on both costumer care and staff care. Exactly how I like it! And I start on Monday already.

So what did I have to work on to get this job? Well, I had a lot of negative feelings about phone work, due to a previous job I've had. But I have felt more and more for some time that it is time for me to move on, from my current job. However, I do not believe in leaving things to move from them, I believe in moving towards something new and better. I still love my current job, and my bosses are some of the best people in the world, and I have had such a great time working with and for them. So how do I move forward to something better than that. All I knew was that I felt stuck, and even though I love my job there is nowhere to go within it. That was a fact that I couldn't change. But leaving there was a thought that scared me, so I had to change my attitude about it.

I sat down and gave it a thorough thought what I wanted that I do not have at my current job. And I thought about what I like with my current job and would love to improve even more with my next job. And I realised that I wanted to send my CV in to this company.

However, like I said I had a lot of negative thoughts and feelings about that kind of job. So I started out by comparing this new job, with the job that gave me all those thoughts and feelings, to see what actually is the same. And not many things are, as it turns out.

So, I used some EFT on the areas that I needed to change my attitude in. Like, working full time. Or, doing daytime job monday to friday. And that a job sitting down will make me fat. After using EFT on these areas, I started to look at things differently. And I realised that I am actually quite bored NOT working full time, and if I work monday to friday I will have the whole weekends off with my Sweetie, instead of only Sundays as it has been for almost all of our relationship. And I realised that it is not the sitting down that makes me "fat", because I spend a lot of my days off (I've hade 4 days off every week for the past two and half years) sitting down and I am slimmer on those days than I am on the days I work (when I stand up the whole day).

So, having started to realise those things I sent my CV in. They weren't currently looking for staff, but the hire every now and then. And on Monday this week I got a call asking if I was interested in coming in for an interview on the Tuesday. And after that interview it took only half an hour until they called and offered me the job.

I will be working Monday to Friday! Welcome free weekends!! I will more than double my wages! Welcome savings account, and spending time! Welcome shopping! I will not even have to work the same hours every single day, but will work in a weekly three shift (early, middle, late one week at a time). I have always wanted to work that way because I get bored when it is the same routine day after day. And I will have to either walk or ride my bike two out of three weeks, since it will be either too early or too late for the bus. This means I get my daily exercise built in in my daily routine.

So, to sum this up! I didn't like my situation, so I change it. But, at first I didn't like my options, but I couldn't change them, so I change my attitude about them. And because I did, I am now heading to a new bright future that will change parts of my life, in a oh so good way. Hello manicures and nice, colour full clothes. Goodbye dish water and black clothes. It will be a change in the quality of my life, not just in what I can get for money but in time with my Sweetie, my social life, daily exercise and so much more. The only thing I will get less of is free time, but I will still have plenty of that.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - Maya Angelou

Love
Carina

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it"

Yesterday I had a breakdown day. I was really tired, and spent my day sleeping, watching films, crying and thinking about this whole Empath thing. Of course, being me, I realized that it would only last for a day, or maximum two days. And I started to feel better last evening, already. Naturally, because that is how I function now a days.

"No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it"
Albert Einstein

During last night I had a dream about a house. It was a big, white, wooden house of two or three floors. It had a lot of big open windows everywhere, and the feeling inside the house was that of love and harmony. Peace. But then came the winds. Hard and strong, and they swept in from all different directions, through all the windows and whirled around in the house. The house tried to close the windows, but they were all stuck. And then the winds died out again. Leaving the house in chaos, with leafs, broken branches, dirt, rubbish and wall papers coming off the walls. The love and harmony could still be slightly felt, but it was hidden underneath all the chaos. It took a few days for the house to get back to what it was. And the winds came back again.

Houses in dreams are said to represent the dreamer, so the house was obviously me. The winds I am sure represents the energies around me, that I take in, being an Empath. The windows that were not able to close felt significant after the dream had ended, but I wasn't sure in what way.

In the morning I usually meditate, and so I did this morning as well, and during this mornings meditation the thought came to me that instead of thinking of the winds, aka the energies, as intruders and enemies, I should see them as friends that come bearing gifts.

Being an Empath is a part of who I am. I owe it to myself to love all parts of that I can't change. I am not supposed to hide within a shell, or close those windows. I am supposed to build my house so the winds can sweep easily through it, taking what needs to be cleared out with them, leaving the good stuff that belongs in there.

This is a very nice realisation, because fighting against who you are never leads to anything good in the end. Now, I can walk into these situations with curiosity and love, and a will to learn from these energies.

Becoming aware of something that has causing you problems is a huge step towards solving it, but as Albert Einstein so wisely said: "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it". 

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet"

Well, this post isn't really about your mind, more about your energys and mostly about other people's energy's effecting you, but I still think this quote by Mahatma Gandhi kind of says it all.

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet"

I am an empath. I just learnt that, although I have heard it before, and have worked on some of the issues I've had because if it before. I just never really put them all together, but now I have. And you are probably wondering what an empath is, so let me explain it to you; an empath is someone who is overly empathic and overly sensitive to other people's energys (feelings, pain, health, thoughts, mood and so on). An empath often knows how someone else is feeling even when they are not showing it, or even if they try to lie about it. An empath might often find him- or herself pulled into strong emotions when watching the news, or films.

I remember when the Tsunami happened over in Asia some years ago, I was completely hooked. I was up all nights watching the news and I bought every newspaper I could find about it. I sucked in all the feelings, both the tragic feelings of fear, loss and death, and the positive feelings of joy, love and life. And afterwards I felt empty inside. Empty because those feelings were no longer there. This is a typical empath occurrence.

Empaths can also:

• Feel overwhelmed in crowds, and drained on energy after having been in a crowd.
• After having been amongst others an empath is often fatigue. This is true for having been to the grocery store, on the bus or a café, or maybe at work.
• Have I high need for solitude, often close to nature of some sort (beach, water, sky, woods and so on).
• Have a high need for the truth, because lies literally hurts them since they often just know when someone is lying to them. And being lied to hurts, as we all know.
• Dislike rules, routines and control, but will feel a lot less weighed down in organised and clutter free areas.
• Have a problem with fat around their stomachs, even though they are not overeating and are eating healthily. This is a way for our bodies to protect us from threats (and other people's illnesses, stress and negativity are interpreted as a threat)
• Appear to be disconnected or moody, and does not like to put on a happy face for others if they have taken on too much of other people's negative energy.
• Be free spirits, in to all things holistic and metaphysical, and are often daydreamers.
• Have an addiction, it helps them block out the energies from the outside.
• Be very creative people, and are often in to writing, music, painting and other creative stuff.
• Be great listeners, and are often the person people turns to when they need to talk.

I am most of these things. There are tests you can do, questions to answer, to find out if you are an empath or not. I found this one to be a good one for me. I did it twice, the first time I answered the questions from the view of before I hit the wall and crashed (emotional breakdown) in 2005, and the second time I answered the questions from the view of where I am today. Maximum score is 80. I scored 78 the first time, and 63 the second time. Both well within the limit of being an empath. 

So, how did I manage to get from 78 to 63? What have I changed in my life? What can you do to keep all that energy out? 

Answers do these questions, and more will come in later posts. This is something that explains so much about why things are the way they are sometimes in my life. Like why I was always slim while working in bars, but have excess fat around my stomach working where I do now. Or why I feel so bad on the bus if I don't have someone to talk to or music in my ears. Or why I feel so much better living here i Spain than I ever did in Sweden.

Do you have questions? Are you an empath, or think you know someone who is? Let me know what you think about this post.

Love

Carina

Setting myself up for success!

"I've never tried that before, so I'm sure I can do it" - Pippi Långstrump (Pippi Longstocking)/Astrid Lindgren

This is one of my absolute favourite quotes, said by one of my childhood role models, Pippi, who was created by one of my writer role models, Astrid. Pippi is a strong, independent girl who do things her way, no matter what everybody else thinks. I related to that even as a little girl. I felt drawn to it. (I also related to Pippi because her dad, who she adored and loved more than anything, wasn't there with her very often. Although he was always on her mind. Much like it was with me and my dad. It was safe to know that if Pippi could handle it, so could I.)

I took this a few weeks ago, on my way home from work. This is part of my
success. In the front is some beach art, part of someone else's success! 

"I've never tried that before, so I'm sure I can do it". 

Isn't this the way we should be thinking? I think so. Instead we are somehow, and for some reason, more often than not taught to think quite the opposite. "I've never done that before, so I don't think I can do it". Isn't that the way you think in a lot of situations facing something new? I know I do. I know that it is usually my first reaction if put in front of a new task. I have had to re-teach myself. I am still re-teaching myself. I am a work in progress, as is my life.

Take this blog as an example. When I first started to think about starting a blog, this voice kept telling me that "you've never done that before so you will not be able to pull it off", and "why would anybody ever read your blog, you've never written anything big or important before". Well, I did start the blog and in the (soon-to-be) 2 years that have past since I have had almost 29 000 visits. Far from all of them have taken much notice of it, but then again, neither have I really. Why haven't I? Because I've never done it before, so I was sure I wasn't going to be able to do it. Or my move to Spain! If I had kept thinking like I used to think I wouldn't be living what in a lot of ways is my dream life.

But, times are changing, I am changing, and here I am with visions, dreams and hopes for this blog, and my life. And I am starting to believe that because I have never tried this before, I am sure I can do it! I mean, nobody can tell me I can't because no one can know. So I am thinking that I can. I might as well. It is more likely to bring me success than thinking that I can't. Since I have had almost 30 000 visits without really putting any effort in to it, just imagine what can happen when I do put some effort in! The difference between success and failure is your mindset!

I am definitely going to set myself up for success! I can do it, because I have never tried it before!

Are you setting yourself up for success, or for failure?

Love
Carina

I am back!

It's been over a year since I last posted anything on this blog. Last year I decided to move the blog to another host, for different reasons, but for some reason I never deleted this one. And for some reason I never really got into the right feeling with the "new" one, which led to not writing at all in the end. Again. Yes, I tend to fall into to that place every once in a while. But, hey, yesterday I made the decision to close down the "new" blog and move back to this.

My view at breakfast up on our roof terrace! 

I have changed the looks on it a bit, and I will probably keep changing it for a while until it feels completely right for me. Please bear with me!

So what is new? What has happened this past year? Well, inside I have grown a lot, I have collected more wisdom and knowledge. Do you know the difference between wisdom and knowledge, btw? "Knowledge is knowing the tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad" - Miles Kington. On the outside most things are the same, except that my family lost a close family member, my Sweetie turned 40, and my son moved here, all in 8 days time in October. It was an intense week during which I learnt a lot about emotions and how to focus my thoughts.

I love our roof terrace and on my days off I like having a late breakfast up there in the company of my son. I love having him here.

I have found the tranquillity and peace of meditation, and I have learnt some other useful methods to relieve stress and find calm.

I did the 5th annual Tapping World Summit in February and had some major breakthroughs and during these last two weeks I have spent a lot of time listening to interviews with some of the worlds most successful inspirational writers during the first ever Hay House World Summit. Both these summits are online and completely free and I am looking forward to next years summits already.

I think this is enough for now. Until next time, walk in love and peace!

Love
Carina

10 Reasons Why You Would Want To Be You. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr Seuss

Society, parents, schools, friends and sometimes even you yourself try to fit you into a mold, form or shape of their idea of what a good human being is. This will make most people confused and might be the biggest reason for people being unhappy today. There are, however, plenty of good reasons for you to find yourself and to stay yourself throghout the rest of your life.

 Dare You To Move - Switchfoot

Here are 10 reasons why you would want to be you:

1. If you are your true self, nobody will be able to think of you as, or call you, a fake and be right about it. There will always be someone out there that doesn't like you, that calls you names or tells untrue stories about you, but as long as you are yourself they will never be right. You will always be the winner in those situations.

2. It is so much easier to remember your opinions and standpoints in different situations if they are your own. Lying is not being honest and not being yourself. If you tell a lie you will to remember what you said. If you are you you are truthful and it doesn't matter if you remember it or not, because it was the truth and you know it.

3. You can never ever be someone else better than they are themselves anyway so why put your energy on it. Not being able to be the best of who you are is painful, and if you are somebody else you will never be the best. It will always be painful in the end. At least if you are yourself you have a chance of being the best of who you are.

4. Nobody else can be you better than you can, so why not be you. Just as you can never be somebody else better than they are themselves, someone else can never be you better than you are. This means that if you are somebody else, you as you are meant to be, will never be.

5. You can never live your dream life if you are not you. You have a dream life somewhere waiting for you, but you will never live it unless you start being you. No matter what your dream life is. If you are not you, you will not live your dream life. You might live someone else's, but your life will never be lived.

6. When you achieve something, reach a goal it is so much nicer to do it as yourself than as somebody else. If you achieve something when you are not you it is not you achieving it. When you reach a goal when you are not you it is not you reaching the goal. The reaching and achieving might be nice, but it will never as great as it is when you achieving something or reach your goals as yourself.

7. It is impossible to know what your dreams and goals are if you are not you. What are your dreams specifically? Are they truly your dreams and goals or are they a product of everybody, or at least somebody, else's dreams and goals? You will never know what your real dreams and goals are in life if you are not you living your life. Why would you want to achieve a goal that isn't yours?

8. Being somebody else in your body will eventually be a complete mismatch and your body will start to revolt. Your body is your temple. You can not change your body and your looks into someone else's, unless you have a lot of plastic surgery done, If you are someone else, your body will still be yours and some time down the road your body will start to disagree with the fact that you are not being you living your life fulfiling your dreams. How your body will show you that will differ from person to person, but if you listen to it it will tell you. You are not supposed to be in pain, if you are something is wrong with the inner being inside you.

9. You only have one life, that you know of, and why would you want to live that life as someone you are not. Even if you believe in reinkarnation it is highly unlikely that you will remember it from life to life. You need to do with this life the best that you can, and you need to do it as yourself. Why would you want to waste your one life on being something or someone your not, living up to other peoples expectations and fulfilling other people's dreams when you can live up to your own expectations and fulfill your own dreams.

10. You will never ever be truly and deeply happy as someone you are not. Everybody wants to be happy, it is the essence of life itself, but how can you ever be truly happy if you are not you? If you live your life listening to everybody but yourself you might end up having a somewhat good and comfortable life, but on the day you die what you will regret mostly will be all the times you didn't follow your own wishes, feelings and dreams. Follow your own heart is being yourself, Being yourself is being happy.

Do you agree with me? Or do you disagree? What are your thoughts and feelings about this subject? Are you being you, living your dream life, fulfilling your own dreams? Have you got any other reason that I didn't list here? Please, leave a comment and let me know what you think. 

To read more about Dr Seuss follow this and this. 
Lyrics to "Dare You To Move"- by Switchfoot

Love
Carina 

10 Things You Should Do Every Day ("If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy)

Most of us wake up in the morning, follow the same little routine without thinking about what we are doing, we go to work and then home, we cook because we have to, we eat because we need to and eventually we go to bed without having done, thought or felt anything special. The next day is the same, the next week is the same, the next month is the same, even the next year is the same. And so life goes on without leaving any marks on you, and you go on without leaving any marks on life.

If you want to be happy you have to think happy! Today!

Here is a list of 10 things you can, and should do every day to change your feelings about your life without changing your life (much):

Be happy and grateful for all the good things you've got in your life. We all have a lot of things to be happy and grateful for. That we are alive, that we have a bed to sleep in, our partner, kids, family, friends and pets, that we have food on our table every day, that we can read and hear, that we have a house to live in, that we have a table in our house, that we woke up in the morning, that we have a heart to love with.. Nothing is too big or too small to recognise and be grateful for. 

Plan your day, fill it with happy thoughts and happy feelings. When you go to sleep at night make sure you plan the next day, not so much in actions as in feelings. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a good day no matter what comes your way. Nothing will disturb your peace of mind. You will smile and be grateful and happy for everything all day long. When you wake up in the morning remember those thoughts and the feeling you had when you thought them. 

Smile and laugh as much as you possibly can. Even if there is nothing obvious to smile or laugh about do it anyway. Sing a happy little song, take some silly dance steps, think of something funny, try to make up a joke to tell your friends at work. Think of all the things you are grateful and happy for. Remember the first love you felt for your partner, or child. Find something to think about that will make you smile everytime you think about it, or do something that will make you smile everytime you do it, if you find yourself being a bit down.

Tell someone you love them. When you tell someone you love them it will make you feel good. It's as simple as that.

Make someone feel good about themselves. Say something nice to someone who's not expecting it. Tell a stranger they look very nice, Smile at someone you meet on the street. Tell your boss you enjoy working with him or her. Tell a friend about a good quality you think they have. Tell your partner or your child that you are proud of them. It will make their day, lift them up and that will make your day and lift you up.

Enjoy everything you eat and drink. Food and beverages are so much more than just something we need. It is tasty, and nice, and it helps your body and you to feel good. Make sure to learn what foods and drinks you feel good eating and drinking. Everybody is different and feel good from eating and drinking different things. Avoid what makes you feel physically and mentally bad, stay with the good stuff. And enjoy!

Do something creative; write,draw, cook or move your furniture around. What makes you drift away for a while, what connects you to your inner self? Most people have some kind of a creative pet peeve within them. Whether it is writing, drawing, painting, jig saw puzzling, cooking, working out doesn't matter, just do it! Half an hour every day is enough to calm yourself down and get in touch with yourself.

Relax and enjoy it. This is very important! Most people do not realise how important relaxing is for you. When you relax you load your batteries, not only the bodily batteries but also your brain and emotions. Take your time to just sit there without doing anything whatsoever for at least 10 minutes a day, and learn how to enjoy it. Again, you can think of all the good things in your life, or the feeling of being completely relaxed.

Love yourself. The root to everything is to love yourself. Find the good things about you, do you like your eyes think of them. Do you like how you always try to improve as a human being, focus on that. Do you like your hair today, love it. Are you a caring person, embrace and notice that. Make a mental list of all the things you like about you, and remember to remember them every day.

Do at least one thing that will bring you closer to a dream. Every person alive has dreams, things they would love to do, have or be. Find out what your dreams are (and yes it is probably that thing you are telling yourself that it's not because you can't fulfill it anyway) and do at least one thing every day to bring you closer to that dream. Do you want to be fit, find out what foods are good for you and what kind of work out you enjoy and then eat that food (while enjoying it) and do that work out. Is your dream to travel, start making plans, saving money, looking at flights and hotells. Is it to write a book, start writing, anything. Whatever your dream is you can achieve it, but you have to take steps in that direction. It will not happen all on it's own. First thing is to allow yourself to recognise your dreams.

If you do these things every day I promise you it will make you feel better, you will start to enjoy your life more and your dreams will begin to come true! Enjoy and good luck!

Read about Leo Tolstoy! 

Love
Carina

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." - Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency." - Natalie Goldberg

Stress is an emergency that needs to be dealt with immediately.

I realised yesterday that I am feeling stressed in my new job. It is not the job itself that is making me stressed though; I love what I'm doing and I think I am doing it very well. It is not even the fact that I am short of time to do all I need to do before deadline. No, it is the fact that my editor is stressed and because she is stressed she wants me to do stuff on a last minute warning, and that is making me stressed. I am a planning person, I don't like sudden changes (unless I come up with them), and I plan my time. Not every minute or even every hour of it, but to the point that I know that tomorrow I am spending my whole day doing research and writing, so that I might be able to get some time off the following day. Now, if my boss were to ask me to come to her office to work tomorrow that mean that I have to change all my plans, not only for tomorrow but for the day after and probably for the day after that as well.  That is what is making me stressed.

I understand that my editor is under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment, we are doing the first issue of a new magazine and she wants everything to be as good as it possibly can. What she doesn't seem to realise is that if I don't get the time I need, when I need it, to do what I need to do; then what I do will not be as good as it can be, and we both want and need it to be. This is both our future, it is not only now and this issue.  However, we are doing it in about half the time we will have in the future and it is the first time for us. I am sure it is only teething problems and once it is all in print and the first issue is out, we can all sit down and talk about what we like and don't like and what needs to be changed for the next issue. Baby steps for a grown up is sometimes hard.

Anyway, I might be feeling stressed but since I realise it I can do something about it. I am in charge of my life and what I don't like I can take control over and change. I will do my job as good as I possibly can, and that is all I can do, but I will do it without stress. Stress will only make it bad, and it will put bad feelings into what I write and that is not good. I’m taking my time and I am doing it my way.

My dream of being a writer has a lot to do with freedom, to work a lot on my own conditions, a writer is an artist and not an office worker. A writer needs the freedom to fly. Give us a deadline and we will do what is necessary to make it, but don't hold us down. We will either get a writer's block or leave you screaming behind us. Some guidelines and rules and how it is supposed to be written is fine, and sometimes good, but don't plan our time for us.

This is all new to me and I am realising more and more about it as I go along. Knowledge is good, knowledge will help me understand why I react and feel the way I feel and as long as I know that I can work with it instead of against it.

If you are stressed you need to learn how to prioritise what you need to do. I said no to meeting my editor today, I don't have time because I have a job to do. I am writing this blog post because it is relaxes me to write it and it puts me in the writing state of mind. I do what I need to do to be able to do what I need to do. Everything is not an emergency! Although feeling stressed is, so take care of that first, and after that you can get on with what else needs to be done.

What makes you stressed? Why does it make you stressed? What are you doing about it?

You can read about Natalie Goldberg here and here.

Love

Carina

"Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true." - Napoleon Hill

You have got the power to make your dreams come true. Are you using that power?

We, as human beings, have the possibility to dream and the power to make our dreams come true. I know that because I have done it my whole life; although it took me quite a long time to realise what my dreams were.

My son is my first dream coming true, although I wasn't really aware of it back then. I have young parents myself and I always wanted to become a young mother, I didn't expect to be quite as young and alone, but there he was; my beautiful baby boy. 22 years later he is still my baby and I couldn't be more proud of him.

My second dream coming true is to live abroad, by the ocean in the sun. That dream came true two and half years ago out of a sudden decision in chaos. The cold and dark weather in Sweden never did appeal to me, although I can enjoy cuddling up in the sofa under a rug with candles lit and a nice book to read. I can that here too, though.

My third dream coming true is to meet my dream man. I did and he is no longer in my dreams but in my reality and my every day life and I am loving and enjoying every second of it. He is everything I ever wanted in a man but more and better.

My fourth dream coming true is to make money writing, and this dream is coming true right now. My new job gives me that opportunity. That's all I can say about it at the moment since it's so fresh that it hasn't really sunk in yet.

I am now looking forward to whatever dream it is that will come true next, because I am positive I have got more coming to me.

With exception of my first dream coming true when I was very young (although that was a part of the dream) it took me a long time to have the rest of them come to me. I am sure that is because I wasn't ready for them earlier. I think you need to be in the right state of mind and the right state of believing in yourself and your dreams for them to come true.

What state of mind and state of believing in yourself and your dreams are you in? Are your dreams coming true?

To learn more about Napoleon Hill, read here.Mr Hill was born 128 years ago today, so Happy Birthday to him!

Love

Carina

"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others." – Winston Churchill

Do you have courage to make use of your qualities?

Courage, to me, is to do something even though you are scared of doing it, or if you don't know where it is heading. To take that step, or maybe even a big leap, into the unknown is courage. Without courage that first step would never be taken, ever or by anyone. Without courage no other qualities count.

I'm experiencing this at the moment. I had a meeting yesterday that might lead to a job doing a lot of the things I dream about doing. I have never done any of those things before, professionally, but if I get the job offer I will most certainly jump on the opportunity and I will do my absolute best to do a fantastic job. And it takes a lot of courage, will and love to take such a leap in a career, and I'm really scared.

Those of you that know me, and those of you that follow my blog, know that my dream is to make money, and support myself, writing. You also know that I can be very social but also a lone wolf at times. This job would include all of those aspects, as well as proof reading and a bit of editing of what other people have written. Something I've been doing my whole life (due to a mother that was proof reading for the local newspaper and a step father that worked as a printer at the same paper when I grew up, always correcting every little error that occurred in everything I wrote or said), and usually do without even thinking of it. Correcting spelling and grammar is natural to me.

Now,  if I wouldn't take this opportunity, if given to me, if I wouldn't be courageous enough to do it then it wouldn't matter how good a writer I am, or how good I am at spelling or if I would be a charming interviewer because I wouldn't need those qualities.

If the Wright brothers hadn't had the courage to try their flying invention then they would never have known if it was working and the world would be a completely different place from what it is today. That first courageous step is what makes all the difference, it is what is needed to change the world, your life or you into something better than it is. It is what gives you the opportunities to use your other qualities.

Courage comes from your within, it's all inside you and has always been there. You just need to start using it. You need to trust yourself that whatever happens you will be great. I don't need this job, but I would LOVE to get it. If I don't get  it I will still be great. I will keep writing and I will keep taking the chances that come my way. If I get the job and it doesn't work out, at least I will know that I was courageous enough to give it a try and I will not have to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.

So follow your heart, find your inner courage and trust that whatever you do everything will be great, one way or another.

For more information about Sir Winston Churchill follow this link or this.

Love
Carina

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J K Rowling

Are you who you want to be or are you someone that has abilities to be who you want to be? The choice is all yours!

Who are you? Do you know? How do you know? Is it because what you think, or know, you can do or is it based on what you actually do? There is a huge difference there.

I, for instance, have always known I could write, but I never did. Just knowing that I could didn't make me a writer. Today I am one, even if it's only on my blog, so far. The difference being that I actually do write today. I have taken action. 

J K Rowling, Agatha Christie, Stieg Larsson, Mark Twain or any other writer wouldn't be authors/writers if they hadn't chosen to share their written words with us. They made a difference, in their own lives as well as in a lot of other people lives. But it's not their abilities that shows us who they are/were, it is the fact that they chose to share them.

Do you think you are a fantastic girlfriend, or boyfriend (husband or wife, friend, parent and so on)? Well, what is it that makes you fantastic in that sense? Do you actually live up to being fantastic, or is it all just in your head? Do you do those amazing things that make the difference between ordinary or special? Or do you settle for knowing that you could do them if you had to?

You might have a fantastic voice, but that does not make you a singer. Or you might have the ability to run really, really fast but that doesn't make you the fastest runner in the world. However, if you make the choice to use your voice and sing, if only on weddings or private events then you are, indeed, a singer. And if you compete in running against others, it might still not make you the fastest runner alive, but at least it will make you a runner.

Is there something you are good at, but you never tried to pursue? Maybe it is time to do something about that? It is like with dreams, they are there for a reason. You have a certain ability for a reason. I know how to write, because it is what makes me happy but also because I believe I can help making other people happy by letting them read what I write.

I had a discussion the other day about helping the people starving in Africa. A friend of mine said that if she would come into a lot of money she would go to Africa and help the people there. I, on the other hand, said that even if I had money I wouldn’t go there, I do however give money every month to different help organisations working there, even though I might not think I have the money for it. Why I wouldnt go there? Because I know that I couldn't handle seeing all the suffering and knowing that I could never ever do enough to save all of the people would break me, because that is who I am. But I still choose to help in a way I can handle. It doesn't make me a worse person than my friend; it only makes me more sensitive than her.

So who am I? I am a sensitive but caring person who is lazy when I'm not active, I am a fantastic girlfriend (at least sometimes), a not all too bad mother, a good and sometimes even great friend and sister and I am a writer and a waitress. I am a lot of other things too, but most of all I am ME, I am Carina. One of a kind!

Who you are is a choice you make. It's like a colouring book, where you can chose what colours to use. Or an empty notebook where you can write down what and who you want to be. That's what I do. I've written down my dreams about my life and who I want to.

Who are you? Are you who you want to be or are you only a person with abilities to be someone you want to be?

Love
Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." - John C. Lilly

It's a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It's true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don't change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can't control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven't complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn't showing at first sight. And if not, it's not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn't changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

If you let fear control your life, you will never get what you want.

Do you chose not to do something because you are afraid of failing? I know a lot of people do and I sure have. I try not to think that way anymore though. I mean, what good does it do me to not even try to do something I want to do?

I have friends who dream about meeting the Right Man or Woman, most people do. Only these particular friends have bad experiences from bad relationships in the past and now they are afraid to give it another try. The problem with that way of thinking is that if they don't try again they can never heal and they will never find Mr och Miss Right. If you are one of those people you need to read this!

To heal from that sort of experiences you need to put yourself in similar situations and learn that every person you meet and every relationship you have is different. If you tend to choose the same kind of partner, that hurt you or treat you badly in same kind of way, over and over again then you need to have a good look at yourself, but you should never ever stop trying. The hard truth is that if you stop trying you will never get it right. You might not get hurt ever again, but you will not be loved, or love, the way you dream of ever again either.

I have been in plenty of "bad" relationships, I have never been physically abused but I have been mentally abused in a couple of them and cheated on in almost all of them. It has never stopped me from trying again and again; it has never stopped me from giving the next guy a chance. Although I have a fantastic boyfriend and an amazing relationship now, I still struggle with feelings of insecurity sometimes. I still fear that I am not enough, or that I'm not able to love the way I want to be loved and yet I KNOW that I am enough to my boyfriend and that he does love me the way I want to be loved. So, you see, I do have the fear but I am healing every day thanks to what I have today, thanks to my lovely Man. But if I hadn't given him a chance, I would still be alone, wounded and scared and I would never ever have found the Right Man for me.

The same philosophy goes for everything you want in life. My fear of striking out got in the way of my dream about writing, but I'm not letting the fear win anymore. Fear is something that is fabricated in one's head; fear is something you can control. You are in charge and the biggest way of striking out is to not even take the shot.

To learn more about "Babe" Ruth read this and this.

Love
Carina

"Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals" - Jim Rohn

Keep working towards your goals and love every part of your life, and you are successful.

What is success to you? When do you reckon someone is successful, or has a successful life? Do you think of yourself as successful? What are your criteria for success?

Whether you are successful or not is all up to you and how you define it. For me it is about being happy in all areas of life. You are not successful if only one or two areas are a success, although you are on your way. Everybody has to start somewhere.

If I take myself as an example, I believe that I am successful and that I have a successful life. I am constantly growing as a human being and I am working towards my personal goals. I have two jobs that I love, I've enrolled to a writer's course that I want to do and I am learning the language of the country I live in. Career wise I am a very busy woman right now and I love all the things I do. Unfortunately, that is not ideal because I do not have enough spare time or as much time with my boyfriend as I would like to have, but it is only for another month. The reason we don't have much time together right now is that he works daytime and I work night time. But we always have Sundays when we are both off, so it is workable for the short period of time it lasts. Why am I doing this? Well, it is so I can get the money for my courses and to bring in some extra money for the winter when I will be spending a lot of time writing and studying to get an even better life in the future. The Spanish classes will make it easier for me to find a good day time job and the writer's course will eventually help me support myself writing. I consider myself successful career wise because I am doing something I love so I can do something else I love even more in the future. I am, in short, happy in my career and that makes me successful in my work life.

I am also happy in my life in total which makes me successful there as well. I have a fantastic man that I love and that loves me, my son is doing well and I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I love where I live and I love myself, just as I am, but I am always striving to get better and to make my life better. I am working for abundance in all areas of my life and I am happy when doing so. That to me is success.

So, are you successful in all areas of your life? What do want to change, and what do you need to do to change it?

Read more about Jim Rohn here.

Love
Carina

"Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear." - Albert Camus

Respect is one of the keys to a fulfilling and happy life.

Respect. One of the most important words and meanings of life. Respect is of utter most importance if you want to have a good life. The big question is what respect is. I know a lot of people misplace respect with fear. In my own personal opinion fear and respect are two completely different things. I even believe that they have got nothing at all to do with one another.

After the riots happening in the UK last month I've had more than one discussion about the cause of them, more than one of my British friends have expressed the opinion that the problem is that people have no fear for the police. They also thought that the kids don't fear their parents these days. When they were kids they wouldn't dream about doing anything like that because they were too afraid of the cops but even more scared of their parents. To me that sounds just as crazy as the riots themselves. The riots happened because the rioters have no respect for themselves or anybody else. They have not been taught to respect other people and other people's properties. I didn't fear the police and I wasn't scared of my parents, but I was taught to respect my parents and the police, and everybody else for that matter. But most of all I was taught to respect myself, and I would never sink to disrespect myself that much. And I taught my son about respect too, he’s got no fear for me and never had. He never did anything bad to anybody else, or himself, because he’s got respect for himself and others. Also, my parents respected me for who I am, and was, and I have always had a great respect for my son for being exactly who he is. That is one of the keys, you can not be respected by someone you don't respect. It all starts with you!

I don’t think that respect can be based on fear, because fear is fear and respect is respect. There is a big difference. I respect myself, and I do it because I deserve it. I have fought hard and done my best most part of my life. I have not always done the best thing and I have made a lot of mistakes too, but at the end of the day I have come out with both feet on the ground always learning how to become a better person in all areas of life. I respect myself tremendously for that, and because I earned my own respect other people respect me too.

Because I can respect myself I also respect other people. I know how to differ between respect for a person or for a person's act. I can respect an act without respecting the person, and I can respect a person without automatically respecting every act of that same person.

I would never be able to respect someone that tries to demand respect by trying to make people scared of him/her. By making people fear you, in my opinion, you lose all rights to be respected. Respect yourself and respect others, for who you are and for who they are, and people will respect you. It is as simple as that.

To learn more about Albert Camus, read this, this or this.

Love
Carina

"When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come." – Oprah Winfrey

I don't live to work, I work to have a good life.

Do you ever do nothing? Or are you the kind of person that has to have something to do all the time? Do you not do enough?

I believe that the right combination of keeping busy and being still is necessary to be able to enjoy all parts of life. If all you do is work hard, spend time exercising, doing your hobbies, cleaning the house, feeding the family, driving the kids you have no time to really enjoy any of it. If you on the other hand don't do anything at all, just lay around the house all day, every day then you don't appreciate that either. I think that you need both to enjoy any of it, to enjoy life.

Life is supposed to be enjoyed, and all the different parts of life are supposed to be enjoyed too. You have to appreciate the details to appreciate the completeness of it. And you have to appreciate the completeness of it to appreciate the details of it. It's all about abundance, everything goes hand in hand.

To appreciate being busy you have to have moments, times when you are doing absolutely nothing. When you can sit back and just dream. You need time to sit back and long to do something, time for yourself, time to drift away in fantasies, a book, a film or inside yourself. Time to listen to music or to your own heart beat or breaths. Time to relax and just be lazy. Being lazy is good sometimes!

On the other end of the scale is being very busy, and that is just as important. If you are never really busy you will have a hard time appreciate being in stillness. You need days, maybe weeks or sometimes a couple of months of being busy to really enjoy being still and do absolutely nothing at all. You can work hard 6 days a week, as long as you don't do anything, don't have a lot of have-to's on the 7th.

You need to keep busy to learn, but you need the stillness to grow. To be able to make use of what you learn. You need to love every moment of being busy, because you know that you would want so badly to be busy if you didn't have anything to do at all. You also need to love every moment of doing nothing because you know you would give everything for a few hours of peace and quite if you had too much to do.

How much of everything someone needs is all individual, everybody is different. But a person can not grow as a human being without both being busy and being still. Make sure you have both parts in your life, it will make your life richer and it will make you a stronger and happier person.

I ususally say; "I don't live to work, I work to have a good life and if I don't enjoy my work I won't enjoy my life" Make sure you enjoy every single part of your life!

To read more Oprah quotes I’ve written about just look here, to learn more about Oprah read here or here.

Love
Carina

"Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can." - Elsa Maxwell

If you laugh at yourself first, people will laugh with you instead of at you.

Sometimes in life you find yourself in a strange and weird situation, or you do something clumsy in a situation where clumsiness doesn't belong. How do you handle those situations? You laugh at it and you laugh at yourself.

I am going to tell you a true story out of my life as an example on how to handle a situation like that. A few years ago I was sitting in my favourite bar with a few people I knew vaguely, I was waiting for a friend of mine to come and pick up some money from me, and I was also waiting for another friend to come and join me for a drink. This was a Thursday night and I had been to visit my son's school earlier that evening. In Sweden we have a kind of tobacco that is called "snus" that you put under your lip. It comes in little round boxes that look a little bit like ice hockey pucks. The type I was using comes in small portion bags. Anyway, the three other people at the table also used "snus" and since I was the only one that had any, I shared mine. After a while my friend who was picking up the money called to tell me that she was outside, but she had her daughter with her so she didn't want to come inside. I went outside to give her the money and I came back in after about 10 minutes. A while later we saw a police car pull up outside, which wasn't that unusual since they dropped in from time to time to see that everything was alright. Except that this time they didn't come inside. There were maybe 10 other people sitting in the bar, of which I didn't know four. Two women sitting in the bar and a couple of men sitting at a table.

About ten minutes later the two cops came in, looked around and came straight up to our table. They asked me if they could talk to me and I said, in surprise and fear, that of course they could. Had something happened to my son? Was the thought that went through my head. They then asked if I would come outside with them, and I said yes. They asked me if it was my bag on the table and I said yes. They closed it and took it with us. They asked me to sit in the police car and one of them got in at the front and the other one next to me in the back and then they started to ask me all sorts of different questions. Name and address and such things, had I been at the bar long, how much I had to drink, what did I do earlier that evening, how well did I know the people I was sitting with and so on. By then I was sure it had nothing to do with my son, but probably with one of the other people at the table. My mobile kept ringing in my bag but they wouldn't let me answer it and after a while one of them got out and went into the bar and came out with the people at my table and talked to them. By this time I've given up trying to figure out what it was all about. The police woman in the car with me, asked me if I was nervous and I answered her that I wasn't because I didn't know what I was supposed to be nervous about. She asked me if I had done anything illegal and I said, not unless it's illegal to have a couple of beer on a Thursday night. She laughed and said that it wasn't. I asked what it was all about, and she said that she couldn't tell me until they spoken to "the woman". I had no idea who she was talking about. After about half an hour they let me out, and gave me my bag back and they told me that one of the women sitting in the bar had called in to say that I was dealing drugs in the bar and that she's seen me go outside to give someone money. I started to laugh when I realised that what she had seen was me sharing my "snus" with the others. I offered the cops to go through my coat and my bag, but they just laughed and said that it's ok; they didn't think I was a drug dealer.

Funniest thing is that I have never, ever tried a drug in my life, except for alcohol and tobacco and everybody who knows me knows that. When I came back in, everybody wanted to know what it was all about and when I told them they all had a good laugh. By then 10 more people was in the bar, all people I knew. The woman that called it in stayed and didn't even come up to me to apologize. Unfortunately I didn't have any "snus" left; otherwise I would have walked up to her and in a suspicious way asked her if she wanted to buy some.

Now, this is a small town where everybody gossips about everybody and I knew that this story would be out in a heart beat. To avoid the worst of it  I just laughed at it and I made it a point to tell everybody I met about it myself, I also made it into a joke and offered people to buy some “snus” off me, since apparently I was the big “snus” dealer in town. People still talked about it, but they did it in a humourus kind of way instead of a gossipy way. Why? Because I was the first one to laugh about it!!

As a waitress I have use of this method too, whenever I make a mistake with a guest I admit my mistake, apologize for it and then I laugh and joke about it. Who can be mad at someone that handles a mistake that way? Not a lot of people.

Laugh at yourself first; it makes life more fun and a lot easier. And it makes others think more highly of you. Don't take yourself too seriously, if you do, other people will find it hard to take you seriously.

If you want to learn more about Elsa Maxwell, follow this link.

Love
Carina

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." – George Bernard Shaw

Your life is your creation.

There are so many ways to look upon life, and every person has their own view or views. I have more than one view and this quote states one of them. Those of you that have been following Quality Inside And Out knows that I am all about personal responsibility of your own life. It is all up to you how your life was, is or will be. You create it and you create yourself. There is no blame, only lack of knowledge.

So, who do you want to be? What kind of person do you admire? What would you like to do? What type of partner do you want to spend your life with? Do you want to spend your life with someone? What is happiness to you? Do you think you are lost in life? How much money do you want to have? What would you do if you had a lot of money?

These are all good question that are worth asking yourself. I can only help you answer one of them. Do you think you are lost in life? If you think so, you are wrong. Life isn't place where it is possible to get lost, because you control it. You control where you are and who you are. So stop looking for yourself and start creating yourself.

Personally I believe that as soon as you acknowledge the fact that you are in charge of yourself, who you are and where you are in life, you will start to change automatically and by default. You can't help not to. I believe that we all have an inner urge to be the best that we can be. Sure, there are some people that will fight that feeling because they are unsecure and scared of what might come out of it. Don't be. I don't believe it is possible for people to change into something worse then they are if they are striving to be better. The trip might not be straight ahead full speed the whole time, but at times it will be. Sometimes the road will be very bumpy and sometimes the road you're on will be closed so you will have take a detour. That is not a bad thing. That is when you will learn the most about how to create yourself into who you want to be.

I've been on this trip as long as I can remember, and I will keep being on it for the rest of my life. I change, the world around me change, my needs and wants change, my inspirations change, well, everything change. I love changes, because changes allows me to see and/or do something new, it will create new visions and new goals. Or it will give me a new way to get to my goal. What I do with it is all up to me, I will create the end result of it.

I am creating me, and I know I will love the end result. I know so because I love every step on the way, whatever it is that I want in life I am getting it because I only want what I love, so I will love the end result whatever it will be. Will you be pleased with the end result of you?? Or will you love it?

To learn more about George Bernard Shaw follow this link, or read here or here.

Love Carina