It's a wonderful life!

Almost three months ago I started a new job, and I love it. Not just the job itself, but my collegues and the company are all fantastic. I am well paid and I am now going through the process of spending money on material things I wanted for a while, but don't really need. And I'm loving it. I can already feel that the urge to spend in decreasing. Another month or two and I will be content enough and I will start saving.

I have got a few trips to look forward to next year. First up will be a short trip to Sweden in January with my son, after that a trip to Italy with my Sweetie, and hopefully there will be another trip to Sweden during the summer. Hopefully for a family reunion, but it all depends on wether my cousins that are shattered all over the world can all join at the same time. Time will tell!

I have noticed a drop in my creativity during the summer, probably due to the heat, but I am now feeling an increase again. Hoooray!! I think a part of the drop had to do with my laptop becoming extremely hot adding to the already existing heat. But, it has now cooled down a bit, even though it is still very warm and nice outside, and also I bought myself a tablet whkch makes it a lot easier to write and post new posts frequently. Even though the writing itself it a bit more time consuming the total amount of time is less.

The pic is of the home made pizza I made for the monthly Girly Night this past Saturday. It's a low-carb pizza, with the base made of almond flour and grated cheese, and it is abdolutely delicious!

Love//
Carina

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J K Rowling

Are you who you want to be or are you someone that has abilities to be who you want to be? The choice is all yours!

Who are you? Do you know? How do you know? Is it because what you think, or know, you can do or is it based on what you actually do? There is a huge difference there.

I, for instance, have always known I could write, but I never did. Just knowing that I could didn't make me a writer. Today I am one, even if it's only on my blog, so far. The difference being that I actually do write today. I have taken action. 

J K Rowling, Agatha Christie, Stieg Larsson, Mark Twain or any other writer wouldn't be authors/writers if they hadn't chosen to share their written words with us. They made a difference, in their own lives as well as in a lot of other people lives. But it's not their abilities that shows us who they are/were, it is the fact that they chose to share them.

Do you think you are a fantastic girlfriend, or boyfriend (husband or wife, friend, parent and so on)? Well, what is it that makes you fantastic in that sense? Do you actually live up to being fantastic, or is it all just in your head? Do you do those amazing things that make the difference between ordinary or special? Or do you settle for knowing that you could do them if you had to?

You might have a fantastic voice, but that does not make you a singer. Or you might have the ability to run really, really fast but that doesn't make you the fastest runner in the world. However, if you make the choice to use your voice and sing, if only on weddings or private events then you are, indeed, a singer. And if you compete in running against others, it might still not make you the fastest runner alive, but at least it will make you a runner.

Is there something you are good at, but you never tried to pursue? Maybe it is time to do something about that? It is like with dreams, they are there for a reason. You have a certain ability for a reason. I know how to write, because it is what makes me happy but also because I believe I can help making other people happy by letting them read what I write.

I had a discussion the other day about helping the people starving in Africa. A friend of mine said that if she would come into a lot of money she would go to Africa and help the people there. I, on the other hand, said that even if I had money I wouldn’t go there, I do however give money every month to different help organisations working there, even though I might not think I have the money for it. Why I wouldnt go there? Because I know that I couldn't handle seeing all the suffering and knowing that I could never ever do enough to save all of the people would break me, because that is who I am. But I still choose to help in a way I can handle. It doesn't make me a worse person than my friend; it only makes me more sensitive than her.

So who am I? I am a sensitive but caring person who is lazy when I'm not active, I am a fantastic girlfriend (at least sometimes), a not all too bad mother, a good and sometimes even great friend and sister and I am a writer and a waitress. I am a lot of other things too, but most of all I am ME, I am Carina. One of a kind!

Who you are is a choice you make. It's like a colouring book, where you can chose what colours to use. Or an empty notebook where you can write down what and who you want to be. That's what I do. I've written down my dreams about my life and who I want to.

Who are you? Are you who you want to be or are you only a person with abilities to be someone you want to be?

Love
Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." - John C. Lilly

It's a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It's true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don't change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can't control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven't complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn't showing at first sight. And if not, it's not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn't changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear." - Albert Camus

Respect is one of the keys to a fulfilling and happy life.

Respect. One of the most important words and meanings of life. Respect is of utter most importance if you want to have a good life. The big question is what respect is. I know a lot of people misplace respect with fear. In my own personal opinion fear and respect are two completely different things. I even believe that they have got nothing at all to do with one another.

After the riots happening in the UK last month I've had more than one discussion about the cause of them, more than one of my British friends have expressed the opinion that the problem is that people have no fear for the police. They also thought that the kids don't fear their parents these days. When they were kids they wouldn't dream about doing anything like that because they were too afraid of the cops but even more scared of their parents. To me that sounds just as crazy as the riots themselves. The riots happened because the rioters have no respect for themselves or anybody else. They have not been taught to respect other people and other people's properties. I didn't fear the police and I wasn't scared of my parents, but I was taught to respect my parents and the police, and everybody else for that matter. But most of all I was taught to respect myself, and I would never sink to disrespect myself that much. And I taught my son about respect too, he’s got no fear for me and never had. He never did anything bad to anybody else, or himself, because he’s got respect for himself and others. Also, my parents respected me for who I am, and was, and I have always had a great respect for my son for being exactly who he is. That is one of the keys, you can not be respected by someone you don't respect. It all starts with you!

I don’t think that respect can be based on fear, because fear is fear and respect is respect. There is a big difference. I respect myself, and I do it because I deserve it. I have fought hard and done my best most part of my life. I have not always done the best thing and I have made a lot of mistakes too, but at the end of the day I have come out with both feet on the ground always learning how to become a better person in all areas of life. I respect myself tremendously for that, and because I earned my own respect other people respect me too.

Because I can respect myself I also respect other people. I know how to differ between respect for a person or for a person's act. I can respect an act without respecting the person, and I can respect a person without automatically respecting every act of that same person.

I would never be able to respect someone that tries to demand respect by trying to make people scared of him/her. By making people fear you, in my opinion, you lose all rights to be respected. Respect yourself and respect others, for who you are and for who they are, and people will respect you. It is as simple as that.

To learn more about Albert Camus, read this, this or this.

Love
Carina

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." - Martin Luther King Jr.

You don't need to see the whole staircase to take the first step.

This is one of my favourite quotes because it reminds me of that I don't have to know what's coming after the next step. All I can do is to take one step at a time. That doesn't mean that I can't have a goal in sight, it only means that the road to the goal has to be open for what ever shows up on the way there. It reminds me of not being afraid of what might happen sometime in the future. It reminds me not to be afraid of failure, because the failure might not come. It also reminds me not to be scared of success, because success is my goal.

Right now, at this time in my life, at this specific moment there is nothing to fear. Because I am where I am and nothing can ever change that. A while ago I wasn't where I am today and if I had been scared of being where I am today I might not have taken the step to get here. That would have been a shame, there is nothing scary where I am today, quite the opposite. I like being here, it is a good place to be. I like this step, but then again, I have liked every step I've been at. I have to, I created them and it would be stupid to create something for myself that I didn't like.

The quote is also telling me that there is only one step at a time. If I take one step, it will be my first step. When I am on that step I can, when time is right, take the next step. However the next step is only one step too and it's your choice how you look upon it. I choose to see every step as the first step, because whatever step I am on, the next step is only one step away. And I can never go back to the steps I've already been on. Why would I want to? Those steps are not for me anymore, I outgrew them. I can only take one step at a time, so why try to take more than that, why try to think several steps ahead. Things might change on the next step, so that whatever I had planned for "step two" is no longer relevant.

Know what your goal is, at least roughly. I know that my goal is to support myself on my writing. I don't know at this point in my life what kind of writing, I don't know how it will come about or when it will happen. I just know that it will happen. A few months ago my first step was to start a blog, well, I did that and here I am, on that step. Not until I got to this step did I know what my next step is. My next step is to enrol to the writing course. What the step after that will be I do not know. And I don't need to know. I can only live my life right now. And right now I am enjoying the step I am on. Right now I know what my new first step will be. When I am on that step, I will learn to know what my next new first step will be. When the time is right. I am not wasting my time trying to figure it out. I will know when I get there, when the time to move up another step is there.

I can't see the whole staircase, I can only see the contours of my goal. It is enough for me to know that it is there and all I have to do is to just take the first step and don’t worry about the next step on the staircase!

To learn more about Martin Luther King Jr, read here and here.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. - Larry McMurtry

Don't wait until you're dead to follow your dreams. Time is ticking.

About six months ago I admitted to myself that my life long dream is to write. Somewhere inside of me I've always known that, but I have been suppressing it my whole life. From the moment I learned how to read I spent most of my time reading. I didn't, like most kids and teenagers, spend most of their free time hanging out with friends, but I spent it closed up in my room reading. Whenever someone asked me what my passion in life is the thought of writing flashed through my head, but every time I pushed it away as quickly as it showed up and then I'd answer the question with; “I don't know, I don't think I have one.”

Anyway, about six months ago I was doing a lot of "soul searching" and I was finally able to admit to myself that I wanted to write. My wonderful boyfriend suggested that I would look up online courses and a friend that is into writing suggested one that she's doing. I looked at it and I really liked it. However, it isn't a free course even though it is not that expensive either, especially not for what you'll get for the money. Although, at that time I didn't have any spare money to spend on something like that and I put it on the future. One day, when I make more money. First I have to…. And so on. Well… Nothing is ever going to happen thinking like that.

About a week ago I made the decision of enrolling for the writer's course at the end of this month and it feels so right, and so good. They have a couple of different instalment options, so I decided to do one of those since I don't have the money to make a full payment at once. The instalment will cost me about 40 euro a month for 10 months? And that's all. So, that is what I am going to do for the next four years. (As well as working) It is a four year course and I will have a personal tutor, it will teach me about agents, and copyrights, about several different sorts of writing; non-fiction, fiction, articles, interviewing, writing for TV and radio and a lot more. It will definitely be worth the money.

The funny thing is that the day after I made the decision to not wait any longer, I stumbled over another job. It's a full time job, for about 2 months, that I can do on top of my normal work. It will give me the money to pay the full enrolment fee at once and it will also allow me to spend time writing during the winter. I've been waiting for something like this to show up so I can enrol, but not until I decided to do it anyway did this opportunity come along. Cool huh??!!

I definitely feel that I am going in the right direction with this and it is making me so happy! I'm really looking forward to the day I enrol and I get the first books and instructions. Why wait, all that happens is that I get older! And when you decide to follow your dreams, no matter what, something will come along to help you on your way! Your dreams are there for a reason, you are supposed to follow them, that is what I finally realised.

What are your dreams? Are you pursuing them? If not, then why not? What can you do to take a step towards your dream? Why are you waiting and what are you waiting for? Try do answer these questions, they might tell you a lot about yourself and how you look upon life.

Love
Carina


You can read about Larry McMurtry here and here.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." – Bob Moawad

The day you start taking responsibility for your own life is the day your life begins.

I take complete responsibility of my life, and everything in it. From the things I have, or don't have, to the people that are in it, or that are not, all the way down to the different situations that occur, or don't occur. I don't believe in coincidences and I don't believe in faith. I make my life; I get what I want and what I believe I should have and nothing less.

Being born and brought up in Sweden, I've always been surrounded by safety nets and I was forced in a young age to start using them. After a while I knew how to take advantage of them, which in some ways led me to not having to take total responsibility of myself and my life. If I f***ed up I would always land on something, if not soft, than semi-soft. That led me to a special kind of laziness. I mean, why work for what I really wanted when I could just, more or less, sit back and have a comfortable enough life without any real effort. It never made me feel good, or worthy of a good life.

And then I moved abroad, and all of a sudden things were different. All of a sudden I needed to be responsible for everything in my life. Now, you would think that it would be difficult and hard, but on the contrary; I loved it! For the first time in my adult life I was in control of how my life was and would be and it was a freeing feeling. If something went wrong it was all my fault, or my responsibility to make it right. If something went right it was all my doing!
I did something right! And I can honestly say that it was a new beginning. Sweden is great because they have all those safety nets, but too many people never learn that they themselves are responsible for their lives and nobody else. I think it's sad and I think it is one of the reasons why Swedish people are so unhappy, because a lot of them are. People need to be in charge of their own lives to be happy.

Today I am a very happy person, who likes to be in control of my life. I've chosen every single part of it, for myself because I wanted it. The feeling is liberating. I wish every person in the world will get to feel it some day, because once they've felt it they want to remain in it.

So I've got a question for you; are you responsible for your own life? Are you taking responsibilty for your own happiness and for your dreams? If not, try to answer this question; why? And what can you do to change it?

Love Carina

The Optimist Creed (part 7,8 and 9)

Smile to people you meet, and the world will be a nicer place.

Here are the next three parts of "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson. You can read all of it, and my first breakdowns of it here. I first came in contact with the Optimist Creed via "the Secret". A very powerful book and film, by Rhonda Byrne, that I recommend people interested in self growth to read.

* Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

Are you living in the moment, or are you holding on to the past? I wrote about this in an earlier post (you can find it here), and I think it is a very important point. The past is something you can learn from, how to do and how to not do. Whatever mistakes you made before (or good things for that matter) is in the past, and you can never change it or go back to it, so you might as well forget them and let it go. Live today and move towards tomorrow. You got great things to achieve in the future, but to be able to see them when they show up you need to be in the present and not the past.

* Promise yourself to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

Most people like kids and animals and they have no problem smiling at them, but do you smile at adults you meet? Smile at friends and family, but also, smile at strangers on the street. Who knows, you might cheer someone up that is having a terrible day otherwise? When I do that I can see people hesitate at first, but then they break out in a big smile. A smile is more than just an expression; it is energy, a vibration that brings out good feelings in you, and the one you smile at. Smile at the girl behind the till, even if you're stressed and annoyed (which you shouldn't be, but that's a different day's lesson). Smile at yourself in the mirror, everybody looks better when they smile and who doesn't want to look better when they look at themselves in the mirror. So bring out that big, nice smile of yours and put it to use.

* Promise yourself to give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

Are you in a habit of criticizing other people? Do you laugh at peoples clothes, or think bad thoughts about fat people? Well, if you do, you need to stop doing it immediately! They are not your business, only YOU are your business. Whatever you say, or think about others you will bring upon yourself. And let's face it, who are you to judge other people? It's not like you're flawless, right?! Spend your time improving yourself and you will not have time to criticize others. Let people be who they are, and you will be allowed to be who you are. (So you better start finding out who that is)

"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you - always." – Oprah Winfrey

It always begins with you! Everything in your life begins with you, everything about you begins with you. How is that possible? Because your life's centre is You, not your kids, your friends, your partner or your parents. Only You! You are responsible for your life, and you can never be responsible for somebody else's life (unless for your children's, and in that case you are responsible for teaching them responsibility for their own lives).

My first realisation that my life is my responsibility was about 15 years ago, when I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah, with her attitude and love for life and the people in the world, inspired me to take a good look at my own life. I am grateful to her for sharing her knowledge, and for sharing the people that helped her get it. I am grateful that I was smart enough to listen to them. I figured that if she can I can too.

You are responsible for your life, and it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. It doesn't matter what your current situation is, YOU are still responsible for your life. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start changing your circumstances. I always say, if there is something in your life you're not happy with, it's up to you (and nobody else) to change that situation, no matter what it is. If you don't even try to change it, you do not have the right to whine and complain about it. Because, again, your life begins with YOU! YOU are the centre of your life! YOU have the responsibility for your life!

MY life is in MY hands, and that is a great feeling! That means that I can make it what I want it to be and that is so cool! Do you take responsibility for your own life and for yourself? If not, maybe it is about time to change that!