"Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they're afraid!" - Bev James

How true this is! I am an expert procrastinator sometimes, especially when there is something I don't want to do, but also when there is something I am scared of doing for one reason or another.

I might want to do it, but I might be afraid that I won't do it well enough, or that I might fail completely. Or I want to do it but what will happen if I actually managed to do it, will it change my life, or even me? Will people look at me differently if I fail or succeed than they do now? Maybe I have expressed strong opinions about something, but along the way of life I have come to realise that it might be as I thought, and maybe people around me will judge me for changing my opinions? Maybe you are afraid that if you do this thing you keep avoiding to do you will lose yourself and who you are?

The list why we put up doing something can be long, but it almost always comes down to fear of some sort. But here's the thing; If you don't do it, you will never know what could come of it! This thing will be an important step in your life. Everything you chose to do, and everything you chose to not do are important steps in your life. It will change you even when you decide not to do something. It is always a matter of choice, and every choice is life changing. Even choices to not act!

The difference between putting something off and doing something is huge though. When you put something off, or when you chose not to do something because you are afraid of doing it, it will keep hanging over you for a long time, maybe for the rest of your life. But when you something, no matter if you fail or succeed in doing it, you can always feel proud for having tried. And that is success, right there!

In other words, if you try you succeed!

So if you have got something you want to do, or need to do, or should do just do it. Now that if you at least try and do your best, you will never ever go wrong.

And of course, always, always, always keep your main goal in sight. Never lose track of who you are inside even when you do something that you might not want to do. Everything you do will help you forward, will you reach your goals as long as you have your main goal in focus while doing it.

This means that you can NEVER go wrong! EVER!!!

"Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they're afraid!" - Bev James

The results might not be what you expected, but it will always be good for you in the end if you keep this in mind.

Carina

10 Reasons Why You Would Want To Be You. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr Seuss

Society, parents, schools, friends and sometimes even you yourself try to fit you into a mold, form or shape of their idea of what a good human being is. This will make most people confused and might be the biggest reason for people being unhappy today. There are, however, plenty of good reasons for you to find yourself and to stay yourself throghout the rest of your life.

 Dare You To Move - Switchfoot

Here are 10 reasons why you would want to be you:

1. If you are your true self, nobody will be able to think of you as, or call you, a fake and be right about it. There will always be someone out there that doesn't like you, that calls you names or tells untrue stories about you, but as long as you are yourself they will never be right. You will always be the winner in those situations.

2. It is so much easier to remember your opinions and standpoints in different situations if they are your own. Lying is not being honest and not being yourself. If you tell a lie you will to remember what you said. If you are you you are truthful and it doesn't matter if you remember it or not, because it was the truth and you know it.

3. You can never ever be someone else better than they are themselves anyway so why put your energy on it. Not being able to be the best of who you are is painful, and if you are somebody else you will never be the best. It will always be painful in the end. At least if you are yourself you have a chance of being the best of who you are.

4. Nobody else can be you better than you can, so why not be you. Just as you can never be somebody else better than they are themselves, someone else can never be you better than you are. This means that if you are somebody else, you as you are meant to be, will never be.

5. You can never live your dream life if you are not you. You have a dream life somewhere waiting for you, but you will never live it unless you start being you. No matter what your dream life is. If you are not you, you will not live your dream life. You might live someone else's, but your life will never be lived.

6. When you achieve something, reach a goal it is so much nicer to do it as yourself than as somebody else. If you achieve something when you are not you it is not you achieving it. When you reach a goal when you are not you it is not you reaching the goal. The reaching and achieving might be nice, but it will never as great as it is when you achieving something or reach your goals as yourself.

7. It is impossible to know what your dreams and goals are if you are not you. What are your dreams specifically? Are they truly your dreams and goals or are they a product of everybody, or at least somebody, else's dreams and goals? You will never know what your real dreams and goals are in life if you are not you living your life. Why would you want to achieve a goal that isn't yours?

8. Being somebody else in your body will eventually be a complete mismatch and your body will start to revolt. Your body is your temple. You can not change your body and your looks into someone else's, unless you have a lot of plastic surgery done, If you are someone else, your body will still be yours and some time down the road your body will start to disagree with the fact that you are not being you living your life fulfiling your dreams. How your body will show you that will differ from person to person, but if you listen to it it will tell you. You are not supposed to be in pain, if you are something is wrong with the inner being inside you.

9. You only have one life, that you know of, and why would you want to live that life as someone you are not. Even if you believe in reinkarnation it is highly unlikely that you will remember it from life to life. You need to do with this life the best that you can, and you need to do it as yourself. Why would you want to waste your one life on being something or someone your not, living up to other peoples expectations and fulfilling other people's dreams when you can live up to your own expectations and fulfill your own dreams.

10. You will never ever be truly and deeply happy as someone you are not. Everybody wants to be happy, it is the essence of life itself, but how can you ever be truly happy if you are not you? If you live your life listening to everybody but yourself you might end up having a somewhat good and comfortable life, but on the day you die what you will regret mostly will be all the times you didn't follow your own wishes, feelings and dreams. Follow your own heart is being yourself, Being yourself is being happy.

Do you agree with me? Or do you disagree? What are your thoughts and feelings about this subject? Are you being you, living your dream life, fulfilling your own dreams? Have you got any other reason that I didn't list here? Please, leave a comment and let me know what you think. 

To read more about Dr Seuss follow this and this. 
Lyrics to "Dare You To Move"- by Switchfoot

Love
Carina 

10 Things You Should Do Every Day ("If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy)

Most of us wake up in the morning, follow the same little routine without thinking about what we are doing, we go to work and then home, we cook because we have to, we eat because we need to and eventually we go to bed without having done, thought or felt anything special. The next day is the same, the next week is the same, the next month is the same, even the next year is the same. And so life goes on without leaving any marks on you, and you go on without leaving any marks on life.

If you want to be happy you have to think happy! Today!

Here is a list of 10 things you can, and should do every day to change your feelings about your life without changing your life (much):

Be happy and grateful for all the good things you've got in your life. We all have a lot of things to be happy and grateful for. That we are alive, that we have a bed to sleep in, our partner, kids, family, friends and pets, that we have food on our table every day, that we can read and hear, that we have a house to live in, that we have a table in our house, that we woke up in the morning, that we have a heart to love with.. Nothing is too big or too small to recognise and be grateful for. 

Plan your day, fill it with happy thoughts and happy feelings. When you go to sleep at night make sure you plan the next day, not so much in actions as in feelings. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a good day no matter what comes your way. Nothing will disturb your peace of mind. You will smile and be grateful and happy for everything all day long. When you wake up in the morning remember those thoughts and the feeling you had when you thought them. 

Smile and laugh as much as you possibly can. Even if there is nothing obvious to smile or laugh about do it anyway. Sing a happy little song, take some silly dance steps, think of something funny, try to make up a joke to tell your friends at work. Think of all the things you are grateful and happy for. Remember the first love you felt for your partner, or child. Find something to think about that will make you smile everytime you think about it, or do something that will make you smile everytime you do it, if you find yourself being a bit down.

Tell someone you love them. When you tell someone you love them it will make you feel good. It's as simple as that.

Make someone feel good about themselves. Say something nice to someone who's not expecting it. Tell a stranger they look very nice, Smile at someone you meet on the street. Tell your boss you enjoy working with him or her. Tell a friend about a good quality you think they have. Tell your partner or your child that you are proud of them. It will make their day, lift them up and that will make your day and lift you up.

Enjoy everything you eat and drink. Food and beverages are so much more than just something we need. It is tasty, and nice, and it helps your body and you to feel good. Make sure to learn what foods and drinks you feel good eating and drinking. Everybody is different and feel good from eating and drinking different things. Avoid what makes you feel physically and mentally bad, stay with the good stuff. And enjoy!

Do something creative; write,draw, cook or move your furniture around. What makes you drift away for a while, what connects you to your inner self? Most people have some kind of a creative pet peeve within them. Whether it is writing, drawing, painting, jig saw puzzling, cooking, working out doesn't matter, just do it! Half an hour every day is enough to calm yourself down and get in touch with yourself.

Relax and enjoy it. This is very important! Most people do not realise how important relaxing is for you. When you relax you load your batteries, not only the bodily batteries but also your brain and emotions. Take your time to just sit there without doing anything whatsoever for at least 10 minutes a day, and learn how to enjoy it. Again, you can think of all the good things in your life, or the feeling of being completely relaxed.

Love yourself. The root to everything is to love yourself. Find the good things about you, do you like your eyes think of them. Do you like how you always try to improve as a human being, focus on that. Do you like your hair today, love it. Are you a caring person, embrace and notice that. Make a mental list of all the things you like about you, and remember to remember them every day.

Do at least one thing that will bring you closer to a dream. Every person alive has dreams, things they would love to do, have or be. Find out what your dreams are (and yes it is probably that thing you are telling yourself that it's not because you can't fulfill it anyway) and do at least one thing every day to bring you closer to that dream. Do you want to be fit, find out what foods are good for you and what kind of work out you enjoy and then eat that food (while enjoying it) and do that work out. Is your dream to travel, start making plans, saving money, looking at flights and hotells. Is it to write a book, start writing, anything. Whatever your dream is you can achieve it, but you have to take steps in that direction. It will not happen all on it's own. First thing is to allow yourself to recognise your dreams.

If you do these things every day I promise you it will make you feel better, you will start to enjoy your life more and your dreams will begin to come true! Enjoy and good luck!

Read about Leo Tolstoy! 

Love
Carina

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." - Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true." - Napoleon Hill

You have got the power to make your dreams come true. Are you using that power?

We, as human beings, have the possibility to dream and the power to make our dreams come true. I know that because I have done it my whole life; although it took me quite a long time to realise what my dreams were.

My son is my first dream coming true, although I wasn't really aware of it back then. I have young parents myself and I always wanted to become a young mother, I didn't expect to be quite as young and alone, but there he was; my beautiful baby boy. 22 years later he is still my baby and I couldn't be more proud of him.

My second dream coming true is to live abroad, by the ocean in the sun. That dream came true two and half years ago out of a sudden decision in chaos. The cold and dark weather in Sweden never did appeal to me, although I can enjoy cuddling up in the sofa under a rug with candles lit and a nice book to read. I can that here too, though.

My third dream coming true is to meet my dream man. I did and he is no longer in my dreams but in my reality and my every day life and I am loving and enjoying every second of it. He is everything I ever wanted in a man but more and better.

My fourth dream coming true is to make money writing, and this dream is coming true right now. My new job gives me that opportunity. That's all I can say about it at the moment since it's so fresh that it hasn't really sunk in yet.

I am now looking forward to whatever dream it is that will come true next, because I am positive I have got more coming to me.

With exception of my first dream coming true when I was very young (although that was a part of the dream) it took me a long time to have the rest of them come to me. I am sure that is because I wasn't ready for them earlier. I think you need to be in the right state of mind and the right state of believing in yourself and your dreams for them to come true.

What state of mind and state of believing in yourself and your dreams are you in? Are your dreams coming true?

To learn more about Napoleon Hill, read here.Mr Hill was born 128 years ago today, so Happy Birthday to him!

Love

Carina

"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others." – Winston Churchill

Do you have courage to make use of your qualities?

Courage, to me, is to do something even though you are scared of doing it, or if you don't know where it is heading. To take that step, or maybe even a big leap, into the unknown is courage. Without courage that first step would never be taken, ever or by anyone. Without courage no other qualities count.

I'm experiencing this at the moment. I had a meeting yesterday that might lead to a job doing a lot of the things I dream about doing. I have never done any of those things before, professionally, but if I get the job offer I will most certainly jump on the opportunity and I will do my absolute best to do a fantastic job. And it takes a lot of courage, will and love to take such a leap in a career, and I'm really scared.

Those of you that know me, and those of you that follow my blog, know that my dream is to make money, and support myself, writing. You also know that I can be very social but also a lone wolf at times. This job would include all of those aspects, as well as proof reading and a bit of editing of what other people have written. Something I've been doing my whole life (due to a mother that was proof reading for the local newspaper and a step father that worked as a printer at the same paper when I grew up, always correcting every little error that occurred in everything I wrote or said), and usually do without even thinking of it. Correcting spelling and grammar is natural to me.

Now,  if I wouldn't take this opportunity, if given to me, if I wouldn't be courageous enough to do it then it wouldn't matter how good a writer I am, or how good I am at spelling or if I would be a charming interviewer because I wouldn't need those qualities.

If the Wright brothers hadn't had the courage to try their flying invention then they would never have known if it was working and the world would be a completely different place from what it is today. That first courageous step is what makes all the difference, it is what is needed to change the world, your life or you into something better than it is. It is what gives you the opportunities to use your other qualities.

Courage comes from your within, it's all inside you and has always been there. You just need to start using it. You need to trust yourself that whatever happens you will be great. I don't need this job, but I would LOVE to get it. If I don't get  it I will still be great. I will keep writing and I will keep taking the chances that come my way. If I get the job and it doesn't work out, at least I will know that I was courageous enough to give it a try and I will not have to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.

So follow your heart, find your inner courage and trust that whatever you do everything will be great, one way or another.

For more information about Sir Winston Churchill follow this link or this.

Love
Carina

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - J K Rowling

Are you who you want to be or are you someone that has abilities to be who you want to be? The choice is all yours!

Who are you? Do you know? How do you know? Is it because what you think, or know, you can do or is it based on what you actually do? There is a huge difference there.

I, for instance, have always known I could write, but I never did. Just knowing that I could didn't make me a writer. Today I am one, even if it's only on my blog, so far. The difference being that I actually do write today. I have taken action. 

J K Rowling, Agatha Christie, Stieg Larsson, Mark Twain or any other writer wouldn't be authors/writers if they hadn't chosen to share their written words with us. They made a difference, in their own lives as well as in a lot of other people lives. But it's not their abilities that shows us who they are/were, it is the fact that they chose to share them.

Do you think you are a fantastic girlfriend, or boyfriend (husband or wife, friend, parent and so on)? Well, what is it that makes you fantastic in that sense? Do you actually live up to being fantastic, or is it all just in your head? Do you do those amazing things that make the difference between ordinary or special? Or do you settle for knowing that you could do them if you had to?

You might have a fantastic voice, but that does not make you a singer. Or you might have the ability to run really, really fast but that doesn't make you the fastest runner in the world. However, if you make the choice to use your voice and sing, if only on weddings or private events then you are, indeed, a singer. And if you compete in running against others, it might still not make you the fastest runner alive, but at least it will make you a runner.

Is there something you are good at, but you never tried to pursue? Maybe it is time to do something about that? It is like with dreams, they are there for a reason. You have a certain ability for a reason. I know how to write, because it is what makes me happy but also because I believe I can help making other people happy by letting them read what I write.

I had a discussion the other day about helping the people starving in Africa. A friend of mine said that if she would come into a lot of money she would go to Africa and help the people there. I, on the other hand, said that even if I had money I wouldn’t go there, I do however give money every month to different help organisations working there, even though I might not think I have the money for it. Why I wouldnt go there? Because I know that I couldn't handle seeing all the suffering and knowing that I could never ever do enough to save all of the people would break me, because that is who I am. But I still choose to help in a way I can handle. It doesn't make me a worse person than my friend; it only makes me more sensitive than her.

So who am I? I am a sensitive but caring person who is lazy when I'm not active, I am a fantastic girlfriend (at least sometimes), a not all too bad mother, a good and sometimes even great friend and sister and I am a writer and a waitress. I am a lot of other things too, but most of all I am ME, I am Carina. One of a kind!

Who you are is a choice you make. It's like a colouring book, where you can chose what colours to use. Or an empty notebook where you can write down what and who you want to be. That's what I do. I've written down my dreams about my life and who I want to.

Who are you? Are you who you want to be or are you only a person with abilities to be someone you want to be?

Love
Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." - John C. Lilly

It's a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It's true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don't change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can't control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven't complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn't showing at first sight. And if not, it's not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn't changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

If you let fear control your life, you will never get what you want.

Do you chose not to do something because you are afraid of failing? I know a lot of people do and I sure have. I try not to think that way anymore though. I mean, what good does it do me to not even try to do something I want to do?

I have friends who dream about meeting the Right Man or Woman, most people do. Only these particular friends have bad experiences from bad relationships in the past and now they are afraid to give it another try. The problem with that way of thinking is that if they don't try again they can never heal and they will never find Mr och Miss Right. If you are one of those people you need to read this!

To heal from that sort of experiences you need to put yourself in similar situations and learn that every person you meet and every relationship you have is different. If you tend to choose the same kind of partner, that hurt you or treat you badly in same kind of way, over and over again then you need to have a good look at yourself, but you should never ever stop trying. The hard truth is that if you stop trying you will never get it right. You might not get hurt ever again, but you will not be loved, or love, the way you dream of ever again either.

I have been in plenty of "bad" relationships, I have never been physically abused but I have been mentally abused in a couple of them and cheated on in almost all of them. It has never stopped me from trying again and again; it has never stopped me from giving the next guy a chance. Although I have a fantastic boyfriend and an amazing relationship now, I still struggle with feelings of insecurity sometimes. I still fear that I am not enough, or that I'm not able to love the way I want to be loved and yet I KNOW that I am enough to my boyfriend and that he does love me the way I want to be loved. So, you see, I do have the fear but I am healing every day thanks to what I have today, thanks to my lovely Man. But if I hadn't given him a chance, I would still be alone, wounded and scared and I would never ever have found the Right Man for me.

The same philosophy goes for everything you want in life. My fear of striking out got in the way of my dream about writing, but I'm not letting the fear win anymore. Fear is something that is fabricated in one's head; fear is something you can control. You are in charge and the biggest way of striking out is to not even take the shot.

To learn more about "Babe" Ruth read this and this.

Love
Carina

"Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals" - Jim Rohn

Keep working towards your goals and love every part of your life, and you are successful.

What is success to you? When do you reckon someone is successful, or has a successful life? Do you think of yourself as successful? What are your criteria for success?

Whether you are successful or not is all up to you and how you define it. For me it is about being happy in all areas of life. You are not successful if only one or two areas are a success, although you are on your way. Everybody has to start somewhere.

If I take myself as an example, I believe that I am successful and that I have a successful life. I am constantly growing as a human being and I am working towards my personal goals. I have two jobs that I love, I've enrolled to a writer's course that I want to do and I am learning the language of the country I live in. Career wise I am a very busy woman right now and I love all the things I do. Unfortunately, that is not ideal because I do not have enough spare time or as much time with my boyfriend as I would like to have, but it is only for another month. The reason we don't have much time together right now is that he works daytime and I work night time. But we always have Sundays when we are both off, so it is workable for the short period of time it lasts. Why am I doing this? Well, it is so I can get the money for my courses and to bring in some extra money for the winter when I will be spending a lot of time writing and studying to get an even better life in the future. The Spanish classes will make it easier for me to find a good day time job and the writer's course will eventually help me support myself writing. I consider myself successful career wise because I am doing something I love so I can do something else I love even more in the future. I am, in short, happy in my career and that makes me successful in my work life.

I am also happy in my life in total which makes me successful there as well. I have a fantastic man that I love and that loves me, my son is doing well and I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I love where I live and I love myself, just as I am, but I am always striving to get better and to make my life better. I am working for abundance in all areas of my life and I am happy when doing so. That to me is success.

So, are you successful in all areas of your life? What do want to change, and what do you need to do to change it?

Read more about Jim Rohn here.

Love
Carina

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." – George Bernard Shaw

Your life is your creation.

There are so many ways to look upon life, and every person has their own view or views. I have more than one view and this quote states one of them. Those of you that have been following Quality Inside And Out knows that I am all about personal responsibility of your own life. It is all up to you how your life was, is or will be. You create it and you create yourself. There is no blame, only lack of knowledge.

So, who do you want to be? What kind of person do you admire? What would you like to do? What type of partner do you want to spend your life with? Do you want to spend your life with someone? What is happiness to you? Do you think you are lost in life? How much money do you want to have? What would you do if you had a lot of money?

These are all good question that are worth asking yourself. I can only help you answer one of them. Do you think you are lost in life? If you think so, you are wrong. Life isn't place where it is possible to get lost, because you control it. You control where you are and who you are. So stop looking for yourself and start creating yourself.

Personally I believe that as soon as you acknowledge the fact that you are in charge of yourself, who you are and where you are in life, you will start to change automatically and by default. You can't help not to. I believe that we all have an inner urge to be the best that we can be. Sure, there are some people that will fight that feeling because they are unsecure and scared of what might come out of it. Don't be. I don't believe it is possible for people to change into something worse then they are if they are striving to be better. The trip might not be straight ahead full speed the whole time, but at times it will be. Sometimes the road will be very bumpy and sometimes the road you're on will be closed so you will have take a detour. That is not a bad thing. That is when you will learn the most about how to create yourself into who you want to be.

I've been on this trip as long as I can remember, and I will keep being on it for the rest of my life. I change, the world around me change, my needs and wants change, my inspirations change, well, everything change. I love changes, because changes allows me to see and/or do something new, it will create new visions and new goals. Or it will give me a new way to get to my goal. What I do with it is all up to me, I will create the end result of it.

I am creating me, and I know I will love the end result. I know so because I love every step on the way, whatever it is that I want in life I am getting it because I only want what I love, so I will love the end result whatever it will be. Will you be pleased with the end result of you?? Or will you love it?

To learn more about George Bernard Shaw follow this link, or read here or here.

Love Carina

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." - Martin Luther King Jr.

You don't need to see the whole staircase to take the first step.

This is one of my favourite quotes because it reminds me of that I don't have to know what's coming after the next step. All I can do is to take one step at a time. That doesn't mean that I can't have a goal in sight, it only means that the road to the goal has to be open for what ever shows up on the way there. It reminds me of not being afraid of what might happen sometime in the future. It reminds me not to be afraid of failure, because the failure might not come. It also reminds me not to be scared of success, because success is my goal.

Right now, at this time in my life, at this specific moment there is nothing to fear. Because I am where I am and nothing can ever change that. A while ago I wasn't where I am today and if I had been scared of being where I am today I might not have taken the step to get here. That would have been a shame, there is nothing scary where I am today, quite the opposite. I like being here, it is a good place to be. I like this step, but then again, I have liked every step I've been at. I have to, I created them and it would be stupid to create something for myself that I didn't like.

The quote is also telling me that there is only one step at a time. If I take one step, it will be my first step. When I am on that step I can, when time is right, take the next step. However the next step is only one step too and it's your choice how you look upon it. I choose to see every step as the first step, because whatever step I am on, the next step is only one step away. And I can never go back to the steps I've already been on. Why would I want to? Those steps are not for me anymore, I outgrew them. I can only take one step at a time, so why try to take more than that, why try to think several steps ahead. Things might change on the next step, so that whatever I had planned for "step two" is no longer relevant.

Know what your goal is, at least roughly. I know that my goal is to support myself on my writing. I don't know at this point in my life what kind of writing, I don't know how it will come about or when it will happen. I just know that it will happen. A few months ago my first step was to start a blog, well, I did that and here I am, on that step. Not until I got to this step did I know what my next step is. My next step is to enrol to the writing course. What the step after that will be I do not know. And I don't need to know. I can only live my life right now. And right now I am enjoying the step I am on. Right now I know what my new first step will be. When I am on that step, I will learn to know what my next new first step will be. When the time is right. I am not wasting my time trying to figure it out. I will know when I get there, when the time to move up another step is there.

I can't see the whole staircase, I can only see the contours of my goal. It is enough for me to know that it is there and all I have to do is to just take the first step and don’t worry about the next step on the staircase!

To learn more about Martin Luther King Jr, read here and here.

If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. - Larry McMurtry

Don't wait until you're dead to follow your dreams. Time is ticking.

About six months ago I admitted to myself that my life long dream is to write. Somewhere inside of me I've always known that, but I have been suppressing it my whole life. From the moment I learned how to read I spent most of my time reading. I didn't, like most kids and teenagers, spend most of their free time hanging out with friends, but I spent it closed up in my room reading. Whenever someone asked me what my passion in life is the thought of writing flashed through my head, but every time I pushed it away as quickly as it showed up and then I'd answer the question with; “I don't know, I don't think I have one.”

Anyway, about six months ago I was doing a lot of "soul searching" and I was finally able to admit to myself that I wanted to write. My wonderful boyfriend suggested that I would look up online courses and a friend that is into writing suggested one that she's doing. I looked at it and I really liked it. However, it isn't a free course even though it is not that expensive either, especially not for what you'll get for the money. Although, at that time I didn't have any spare money to spend on something like that and I put it on the future. One day, when I make more money. First I have to…. And so on. Well… Nothing is ever going to happen thinking like that.

About a week ago I made the decision of enrolling for the writer's course at the end of this month and it feels so right, and so good. They have a couple of different instalment options, so I decided to do one of those since I don't have the money to make a full payment at once. The instalment will cost me about 40 euro a month for 10 months? And that's all. So, that is what I am going to do for the next four years. (As well as working) It is a four year course and I will have a personal tutor, it will teach me about agents, and copyrights, about several different sorts of writing; non-fiction, fiction, articles, interviewing, writing for TV and radio and a lot more. It will definitely be worth the money.

The funny thing is that the day after I made the decision to not wait any longer, I stumbled over another job. It's a full time job, for about 2 months, that I can do on top of my normal work. It will give me the money to pay the full enrolment fee at once and it will also allow me to spend time writing during the winter. I've been waiting for something like this to show up so I can enrol, but not until I decided to do it anyway did this opportunity come along. Cool huh??!!

I definitely feel that I am going in the right direction with this and it is making me so happy! I'm really looking forward to the day I enrol and I get the first books and instructions. Why wait, all that happens is that I get older! And when you decide to follow your dreams, no matter what, something will come along to help you on your way! Your dreams are there for a reason, you are supposed to follow them, that is what I finally realised.

What are your dreams? Are you pursuing them? If not, then why not? What can you do to take a step towards your dream? Why are you waiting and what are you waiting for? Try do answer these questions, they might tell you a lot about yourself and how you look upon life.

Love
Carina


You can read about Larry McMurtry here and here.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." – Bob Moawad

The day you start taking responsibility for your own life is the day your life begins.

I take complete responsibility of my life, and everything in it. From the things I have, or don't have, to the people that are in it, or that are not, all the way down to the different situations that occur, or don't occur. I don't believe in coincidences and I don't believe in faith. I make my life; I get what I want and what I believe I should have and nothing less.

Being born and brought up in Sweden, I've always been surrounded by safety nets and I was forced in a young age to start using them. After a while I knew how to take advantage of them, which in some ways led me to not having to take total responsibility of myself and my life. If I f***ed up I would always land on something, if not soft, than semi-soft. That led me to a special kind of laziness. I mean, why work for what I really wanted when I could just, more or less, sit back and have a comfortable enough life without any real effort. It never made me feel good, or worthy of a good life.

And then I moved abroad, and all of a sudden things were different. All of a sudden I needed to be responsible for everything in my life. Now, you would think that it would be difficult and hard, but on the contrary; I loved it! For the first time in my adult life I was in control of how my life was and would be and it was a freeing feeling. If something went wrong it was all my fault, or my responsibility to make it right. If something went right it was all my doing!
I did something right! And I can honestly say that it was a new beginning. Sweden is great because they have all those safety nets, but too many people never learn that they themselves are responsible for their lives and nobody else. I think it's sad and I think it is one of the reasons why Swedish people are so unhappy, because a lot of them are. People need to be in charge of their own lives to be happy.

Today I am a very happy person, who likes to be in control of my life. I've chosen every single part of it, for myself because I wanted it. The feeling is liberating. I wish every person in the world will get to feel it some day, because once they've felt it they want to remain in it.

So I've got a question for you; are you responsible for your own life? Are you taking responsibilty for your own happiness and for your dreams? If not, try to answer this question; why? And what can you do to change it?

Love Carina

The Optimist Creed (part 10,11 and 12)

If you're true to who you are, the world is always on your side!

* Promise yourself to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Do you spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things that might happen? Do you get angry a lot, or easily? Do you fear certain situations in life? Are you troubled about something? If you are worried, angry, fearful or troubled (one or all of them) you are not doing yourself a favour. The person that is most affected by any of those feelings or states of mind are you. And for what purpose, worry never leads anywhere, anger creates more anger, feeling fear holds you back and if you're troubled you spend your time thinking negative thoughts instead of focusing on the positive things in your life. Be too large for fear, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble and I promise you, you will be a much happier person.

* Promise yourself to think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
I am my biggest fan! Not in a bragging kind of way, but the fact is that nobody can ever make a better job being me, than me, so why shouldn't I be proud and impressed and think that I am awesome. Now, I'm only proclaiming this here so you will get the point in this, I don't usually go around telling people that I'm the best. One reason is that, hopefully, to them it's not true. To them they themselves should be the best. I know I can do whatever I want to do, if I have my heart set on it. I know that I am fantastic in most ways, and I don't have to tell people that, because I act it so they already know it. If I act in the best way I possibly can, nobody will think badly of me, but most important of all. I won't think badly of myself. So I think well about myself and act accordingly. That is all that is to it. That is how I proclaim my greatness to the world.

* Promise yourself to live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you? I did, but I've come to realise that that is not the case. The only thing, or person, that can be against you is you. Or, nothing can be against you unless you are against you. Do you ever feel like something is unfair? Well, it's not. As long as you are true to the best that is in you, the whole world will be on your side. Sure, you will still experience loss and sorrow because that is a part of life, that is for us to learn and remind ourselves of the life we're in. I learned that when my dad died, because the one wish he had was that me and the rest of his loved ones would live the lives of our dreams, that we would be happy and love each other and ourselves. He didn't wish for himself to be well and stay alive. He wanted us to follow our dreams and be true to ourselves. The world is never against you, unless you allow it to be, it is your choice. If you can't change the situation, change how you think about it. Be true to yourself, and believe that the world is there for you, if you want it.

I try to read "the Optimist Creed" (here is the creed and everything I've written about it)  by Christian D. Larson more or less every day, to remind myself of who I am and who I want to be. I think that if you try to live your life following these "rules", you're life will be amazing. I want my life to be amazing. My life actually is amazing already, because I live it by these "rules". My doctor used to say; "You should be in the driver's seat of your life, nobody else can get you where you want to go". Take control, be in charge, love yourself and your world and the world and your life will love you back.

The Optimist Creed (part 7,8 and 9)

Smile to people you meet, and the world will be a nicer place.

Here are the next three parts of "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson. You can read all of it, and my first breakdowns of it here. I first came in contact with the Optimist Creed via "the Secret". A very powerful book and film, by Rhonda Byrne, that I recommend people interested in self growth to read.

* Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

Are you living in the moment, or are you holding on to the past? I wrote about this in an earlier post (you can find it here), and I think it is a very important point. The past is something you can learn from, how to do and how to not do. Whatever mistakes you made before (or good things for that matter) is in the past, and you can never change it or go back to it, so you might as well forget them and let it go. Live today and move towards tomorrow. You got great things to achieve in the future, but to be able to see them when they show up you need to be in the present and not the past.

* Promise yourself to wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

Most people like kids and animals and they have no problem smiling at them, but do you smile at adults you meet? Smile at friends and family, but also, smile at strangers on the street. Who knows, you might cheer someone up that is having a terrible day otherwise? When I do that I can see people hesitate at first, but then they break out in a big smile. A smile is more than just an expression; it is energy, a vibration that brings out good feelings in you, and the one you smile at. Smile at the girl behind the till, even if you're stressed and annoyed (which you shouldn't be, but that's a different day's lesson). Smile at yourself in the mirror, everybody looks better when they smile and who doesn't want to look better when they look at themselves in the mirror. So bring out that big, nice smile of yours and put it to use.

* Promise yourself to give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

Are you in a habit of criticizing other people? Do you laugh at peoples clothes, or think bad thoughts about fat people? Well, if you do, you need to stop doing it immediately! They are not your business, only YOU are your business. Whatever you say, or think about others you will bring upon yourself. And let's face it, who are you to judge other people? It's not like you're flawless, right?! Spend your time improving yourself and you will not have time to criticize others. Let people be who they are, and you will be allowed to be who you are. (So you better start finding out who that is)

The Optimist Creed (part 4,5 and 6)

Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. - Christian D. Larson

This is the next three parts of "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson. Here are the first three, and here is the whole creed.

*Promise yourself to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

When something happens in my life, I always try to find something positive about it. I lost my job once, and I was sad and surprised at first, but I also saw that I wasn't happy there and I had already decided to try to find another job in a few months time. So I started to think that maybe this was what I needed to get to that point. Within a week or two I'd been asked to help out at another place, less hours more money. Even though it was only a temporary job I wouldn't have heard about it if I wasn't available. I think that whatever happens, it does so for a reason that you might not be able to see right there and then, but it will lead you closer to what you want in life. So look at the sunny side of life, it makes life easier and more fun.

*Promise yourself to think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

Do you expect the best or do you expect less than that? Most people expect less than the best because of the limiting beliefs they have. (I will get into the subject of limiting beliefs some other day) But if you think of the best, work for the best and expect the best, you will eventually get the best. The best for you, not the best for somebody else. You will get what you expect, as I've mentioned before. Do you think you are the best? I think I am the best, nobody can be me better than I can. And nobody can be you better than you can. So if I'm the best I deserve the best, so I expect the best (and I get the best)

*Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
If your friend lands a job you'd like, or finds the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, or have the most fantastic house, or body, how does it make you feel? Are you genuinely happy for your friend, are you jealous or do you hold a grudge? Holding a grudge is not the same thing as being jealous. Holding a grudge is being jealous AND wanting the job INSTEAD of your friend. It is to NOT want your friend to feel the joy and happiness of getting/having it. Being jealous simply means that you would like it TOO. See the difference? Well, the best thing is neither of them though; the best alternative is to just be happy for your friend. Honestly and lovingly happy! Because the truth is that there are enough good things out there to go around. So you didn’t get that job, you’ll get something else; at least your friend is happy. Be happy and enthusiastic about the success of others and you're more likely to be successful too.

The Optimist Creed (part 1,2 and 3)

Make your life better with "the Optimist Creed" by Christian D. Larson.

The other day I posted Christian D. Larson's "the Optimist Creed" (follow the link to read all of it). Today (and a few more days) I would like to discuss the different promises a bit further.

*Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

This is one of my main goals in life! To be so strong in myself, so strong in my peace of mind that nothing can disturb it. This is something very important. I should know myself, what I want, what I feel, what I do and so on, that no matter what happens or what anybody thinks or says I'm not disturbed. Are you that strong? I'm not that strong yet, but I am definitely moving closer to it all the time. The better I know myself, the more control I have of who I am and the more secure I am about what I do, the closer I get to it.

*Promise yourself to talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

What do you talk about when you meet people? When somebody asks you how you are, out of courtesy, what do you answer? A lot of people I know and met over the years started going on about the misery in their lives, how bad their stomach is, or that they got a head ache, their bad economy, the hassel they're having with their kids or how tired they are. I used to be like that too, but eventually I started to realise that people started to avoid asking me questions that would bring any of those subjects up. Now, when people ask I only talk about the good stuff in life, and actually I can't even think of any bad stuff in my life anymore. Why should I? Thinking and talking about bad stuff only makes you and the one you're talking to feel bad. Where's the fun in that? Tell people about your good life, lie or don't say anything at all. Everybody will gain from that, most of all you!

*Promise yourself to make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them

Your friends are valuable, I've said it before, and you need to make sure that they know that. If you make a friend (or anybody else for that matter) feel that there is something worthwhile in them, they will treasure your friendship and they will make you feel the same way. And I sure like feeling that there is something other people find worthwhile in me. And I sure like making other people feel happy and important, it's one of the most amazing feelings you can ever feel. Call a friend today and tell her/him what she/he means to you. Let them know.

That's it for now, I will, of course, continue with the next few within the next few days. Until then, read and think about it. Use the Creed in your daily life. I read it almost every morning to get myself on the right track, even though I already am most days.

Stay well and grow well! Xx
Carina

The Optimist Creed by Christian D. Larson, 1912

Christian D. Larson

Promise Yourself ...

*To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

*To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

*To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

*To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

*To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

*To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

*To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

*To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

*To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

*To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

*To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

*To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

 I will "discuss" the Optimist Creed in the the next few days, so I want you all to read it carefully and think long and hard about it. This is how I try to live my life! Have a great Friday everyone!

Love / Carina 

"I'm hungry for a juicy life. I lean out my window at night and I can taste it out there, just waiting for me." - Brigid Lowry

If you can taste your future life in the air, you need to go get it.

I have heard so many people say something like this. I used to say it. I used to feel that there was something more out there, something waiting for me, calling me. I never knew what it was though, but I could taste it in the air, especially if I was sitting on the balcony a nice spring night. I don't feel that anymore, because I know that whatever is out there I'm heading its way. And also, I did change my life; I followed my heart to find myself and my life.

But let's get one thing clear, your life will not find its way to you without you moving towards it. It may meet you on the way but it's not going to do all the travelling. You need to put your thought on to it, your focus; you need to find out what you want, which road you want to go. You might change your mind half way there and take the next exit off that road, but that exit will lead you on to another road and even closer to your goal. If you are somewhat clear that you want to find whatever it is that is out there. It took me years of wondering and thinking for me to find out what I really want out of life. I always knew I wanted to be happy and that I wanted a really nice guy in my life, but I never knew what it was that would make me happy and I never made it clear to myself what a nice guy is. I've got both happiness and the perfect guy now, because I made it clear in my head and my heart what it was I wanted.

Every time I've thought about what my passion is, what I want to do that makes me burn, the thought of writing has flashed by. Just a quick flash, because I've always pushed it back, telling myself that I wouldn't be any good at it and I would never be able to make any money doing it.. About 6 months ago I finally admitted to myself that writing is what makes heart bounce, that is what I want to do and as long as it makes me feel good I don't have to make money from it. Even though that is what I want in the end.. I am still trying to figure out what type of writing I want to do, I'm still trying to convince myself that I am good enough at it. In my heart I know that I am, I just have to convince head. And still, writing is what I do here, so I'm on my way. On my track of life. I am already doing it, right?!

The point I want to make is that if you have that feeling, that you want a juicy life, that you can taste it out there, you really need to go for it because it's not going to come to you on its own. Take the chance, the worst thing that can happen is that you want to go back to where you are now. Although I don't think you will, I think you will find something better.