Love Always Wins

It's been a long time since I posted anything on this blog, but I've been thinking about bringing it back to life for a while now. Today is that day. And today is that day because I want to share my two cents on this whole thing about Marriage Equality

I watch my Facebook news feed and I feel proud, proud to be European, proud that I have so many people in my life that believe in love. Because love is what this is all about. It has nothing to do with God, Allah, Buddha or whatever you believe in, and it has nothing to do with politics. At least not if we get to the core of things, into the depth of it. When we dig deep we find that it is all about feelings. It is about feelings of love; for the people that want to marry the person they love that happens to have the same gender. It is about feelings of love for the people who support those people. It is about love and belief in that everybody is equal on this earth.

I see my Facebook wall fill up with colourful profile pictures to celebrate the decision that same-sex marriages are now legal all over the United States. And I feel proud to be European. Because 99 % of those colourful profile pictures are European. A few are Canadian, or Australian, but very few are American. I am proud I am European. And yes, for obvious reasons I have a lot of European friends, but I have a lot of American friends too, maybe even more than European.

I believe in every person's right to believe what they believe even when it doesn't line up with my views or beliefs. I am not saying that one is right and the other is wrong. If it works for you, please, go with it. If it makes you happy, you can believe whatever you want to. This is a right we have in most parts of the world. The right to believe in whatever we want to believe.

The same goes for the rights to think whatever you think about same-sex people getting married. you have the right to believe what you believe. Isn't that a fantastic feeling to know that?

Now, the way I see it this is all about love. Love for one another. Love for life. Love for a person, or love for people in general. To me there is only one kind of love, the unconditional kind. If you truly love someone you do it unconditionally. If you have conditions for loving someone it is not true love. Loving one person or loving people in general makes no difference. It is not love if you have conditions.

If you say you love people, as long as they are straight, or as long as they believe in what you believe in, you do not love people, you love your opinions.

If you say you have nothing against homosexuals, but you don't believe they should be allowed to marry each other, you have something against homosexuals, and you don't love people - you have conditions, and love comes without conditions.

If you love someone, no matter who that person is, you want that person to be as happy as can be. Even it breaks your heart the happiness of someone you love is what matters. If you love someone you support them in what they want even if it doesn't line up with what you believe or want.

Because love is unconditional, otherwise it is not love.

Now, even if you do not agree with me, I am not going to stop loving you. Even if you believe in a God, and I don't, I don't judge you. You believe in what you want, and I believe in what I want. Even if I don't want to marry someone of my own sex, I think that you should have the right to if you want to, or I should have the right to if I want to. Even if I am white, female, straight, European, non-religious, meat-eater and short doesn't mean I do not love you because you're not. You can be green, transgender, an alien, have 54 gods, eat only seeds and be shorter or taller than me. I simply do not care. I can still love you. I will still love you in general until I get to know you in person, then I will love you specifically.

I have been watching my Facebook news feed shine with all the colours of the rainbow today, and I do not know why but it's been mainly the Europeans painting my world. Maybe it is too sensitive for Americans to show their support, I do not know.

All I know is that it is about love, and that true love is unconditional.

No matter who you are, what you believe in, or who you love I urge you to think about what makes you you. My belief is that it is how you love that makes you you.

Do you have conditions, or do you love unconditionally? That is the big question here. Do you hide behind a religion, or fear of the unknown? Then you do not trust in true love, or you do not understand what true love is.

Take a leap of faith, not in a God, or in a political view, but in love.

Believe in love. Unconditional love. Because unconditional love always wins.


Love//Carina

It's a wonderful life!

Almost three months ago I started a new job, and I love it. Not just the job itself, but my collegues and the company are all fantastic. I am well paid and I am now going through the process of spending money on material things I wanted for a while, but don't really need. And I'm loving it. I can already feel that the urge to spend in decreasing. Another month or two and I will be content enough and I will start saving.

I have got a few trips to look forward to next year. First up will be a short trip to Sweden in January with my son, after that a trip to Italy with my Sweetie, and hopefully there will be another trip to Sweden during the summer. Hopefully for a family reunion, but it all depends on wether my cousins that are shattered all over the world can all join at the same time. Time will tell!

I have noticed a drop in my creativity during the summer, probably due to the heat, but I am now feeling an increase again. Hoooray!! I think a part of the drop had to do with my laptop becoming extremely hot adding to the already existing heat. But, it has now cooled down a bit, even though it is still very warm and nice outside, and also I bought myself a tablet whkch makes it a lot easier to write and post new posts frequently. Even though the writing itself it a bit more time consuming the total amount of time is less.

The pic is of the home made pizza I made for the monthly Girly Night this past Saturday. It's a low-carb pizza, with the base made of almond flour and grated cheese, and it is abdolutely delicious!

Love//
Carina

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - Maya Angelou

I mentioned the other day that I was hoping to share some good news with you this week. And indeed I do have good news, although not the exact good news I was planning on sharing with you. Anyway, good news are good news.

I have done a lot of work on my attitude for this good news to come my way. A few months ago I would have had split feelings about it, but now I absolutely love it. So, what is it?? I just landed a new job. It is an ordinary job, working at a customer service. But it is a good job, a good company that has a lot of focus on both costumer care and staff care. Exactly how I like it! And I start on Monday already.

So what did I have to work on to get this job? Well, I had a lot of negative feelings about phone work, due to a previous job I've had. But I have felt more and more for some time that it is time for me to move on, from my current job. However, I do not believe in leaving things to move from them, I believe in moving towards something new and better. I still love my current job, and my bosses are some of the best people in the world, and I have had such a great time working with and for them. So how do I move forward to something better than that. All I knew was that I felt stuck, and even though I love my job there is nowhere to go within it. That was a fact that I couldn't change. But leaving there was a thought that scared me, so I had to change my attitude about it.

I sat down and gave it a thorough thought what I wanted that I do not have at my current job. And I thought about what I like with my current job and would love to improve even more with my next job. And I realised that I wanted to send my CV in to this company.

However, like I said I had a lot of negative thoughts and feelings about that kind of job. So I started out by comparing this new job, with the job that gave me all those thoughts and feelings, to see what actually is the same. And not many things are, as it turns out.

So, I used some EFT on the areas that I needed to change my attitude in. Like, working full time. Or, doing daytime job monday to friday. And that a job sitting down will make me fat. After using EFT on these areas, I started to look at things differently. And I realised that I am actually quite bored NOT working full time, and if I work monday to friday I will have the whole weekends off with my Sweetie, instead of only Sundays as it has been for almost all of our relationship. And I realised that it is not the sitting down that makes me "fat", because I spend a lot of my days off (I've hade 4 days off every week for the past two and half years) sitting down and I am slimmer on those days than I am on the days I work (when I stand up the whole day).

So, having started to realise those things I sent my CV in. They weren't currently looking for staff, but the hire every now and then. And on Monday this week I got a call asking if I was interested in coming in for an interview on the Tuesday. And after that interview it took only half an hour until they called and offered me the job.

I will be working Monday to Friday! Welcome free weekends!! I will more than double my wages! Welcome savings account, and spending time! Welcome shopping! I will not even have to work the same hours every single day, but will work in a weekly three shift (early, middle, late one week at a time). I have always wanted to work that way because I get bored when it is the same routine day after day. And I will have to either walk or ride my bike two out of three weeks, since it will be either too early or too late for the bus. This means I get my daily exercise built in in my daily routine.

So, to sum this up! I didn't like my situation, so I change it. But, at first I didn't like my options, but I couldn't change them, so I change my attitude about them. And because I did, I am now heading to a new bright future that will change parts of my life, in a oh so good way. Hello manicures and nice, colour full clothes. Goodbye dish water and black clothes. It will be a change in the quality of my life, not just in what I can get for money but in time with my Sweetie, my social life, daily exercise and so much more. The only thing I will get less of is free time, but I will still have plenty of that.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - Maya Angelou

Love
Carina

What do I do to feel good today?

What can I do to feel good today? What can I do to love myself today? How do I best take care of myself today?

Do you ever ask yourself any of these questions? I just realized the other day that I actually ask myself one of them every day, without even realizing it. I think it's pretty cool that I do. Not too long ago I would never ask myself that, and now I find myself automatically asking myself that question in all different sort of situations.

Are you taking good care of yourself today, and every day?

On my days off, I always ask myself "how can I best take care of myself today?". Some days it is by doing nothing special at all, other days it is to write, some days it is to clean the house and other days it is to spend time out in the sun.

When I finish work I tend to ask myself what would make me feel best; to walk home or to go for a coffee, read and take the bus home. When I come home, if I have taken the bus, I ask myself what would be best for me to do. To rest after having been on my feet for 6-7 hours at work without a break, or to do some sort of exercise. Surprisingly often that answer will be to do some exercise.

When I am asked to do something, no matter what it is, I ask myself "would it be best to do it, or would it be best not to do it?".

But it is about more than using these questions in situations like I described. It is about implementing things and routines into your daily life that make you feel better.

I made a new years resolution, the first one I've had in a lot of years. The resolution was to only do things that makes me feel better, that makes my life better. I started by using some EFT on the subject, and from that came the idea to start taking nice baths a couple of times a week. So I put some candles in my bathroom and I used some shampoo for bubbles and put some olive oil in the tub and then I soaked for as long I felt like it. Now, I have never really been a huge fan of bubble baths before, but I have always envied those who could really enjoy it so I knew I had it in me to enjoy it. And now I love it!

I also started to meditate, I found some nice ones to follow, and I started to combine my baths with meditation. It is absolutely lovely and a fantastic and cheap way to take good care of yourself. It will most certainly help you feel a lot better, and will make you relaxed. You can find some nice mediations for free, as well as a lot of useful information about meditating, here.

Next step for me was to start exercising, and as soon as I had decided to it I found a Zumba class that turned out to be both cheap, and on perfect times of the week for me.

A couple of months in to the Zumba classes I woke up one morning with the idea to give myself a 10-week challenge. I felt that I needed to implement exercise into my daily life, make my body crave it and make my head realise how good it made me feel, because I knew that if I didn't I would most likely stop exercising when the classes ended in early June. I made a chart where I every Monday morning wrote what possible types of exercise I had do choose from, inside or out doors, every single day, and  a check box to check it off once I'd done it. Do boost my motivation even further I weighed and measured myself on that very first morning, which happened to be a Monday, and I continued doing it every Monday morning for the next ten days. The results were great. I lost 5-6 pounds and 10 cm around my waist.

After the Zumba ended I took a break for a couple of weeks, but I am now back into exercising again. This is one of the things I do to make myself feel good.

It is so important in this stressful world that we live in, to take the time to do things that makes us feel good from the inside. Exercise will make you feel good on the inside if you do it for the right reasons. For me I stop exercising as soon as I feel like I have to, or need to, or if I do it to lose weight. For it is important to exercise because it makes me feel great on the inside, as is the case with bubble baths, or meditation. It is all about feeling good on the inside. That is where it all starts, and then it works it's way out!

"The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death." - Osho

And this is what I ask myself; Am I alive today? Am I enjoying this day in my life? What do I do to feel good today? Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? Maybe you should?

Love
Carina

I love me just the way I am! “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” - African Proverb

I few days a week I like to sing a love song to myself. Yes, you got it! To myself! Why? Because I love music, and I love to sing and whenever I sing I feel good. So I stand in front of the mirror and I look myself in the eyes and I sing to myself. And it makes me feel great. Usually I sing the song of the day more than once because it might take a while to get in to the mood and to really feel the words I am singing.

 

So what good does this do? Well, it tells me that I love me in a happy way, it makes me respect myself because if I am worth loving than, hey, how good am I!?? It makes me take a good look at myself with different eyes, like it is somebody else looking, and it makes me realise that I am pretty damn nice to look at. Even without my clothes on! (Yes, sometimes I am naked when I do it) It also makes me laugh because towards the end of the fifth time it gets a bit worn out and I start to make funny faces. And who better to laugh at me than me!!

When I sing I try to start by looking myself in the eyes, and then I try to list the good things about me and be grateful for those things, and I am talking about the physical things more than anything else right now. We are usually our worst critic and often tend to tell ourselves all the stuff we are not really happy about with ourselves and our bodys. When I do this I try to set a trend in my mind to see and to remember all the good things about me instead, because I know there is plenty of them. I just need to accept that and to be thankful for everything.

My choice of song today was Billy Joel and "I love you just the way you are". Brilliant lyrics to sing to yourself, or somebody else if you want to.

What do you do to make yourself feel better about yourself? Do you have a routine that helps putting you in the right state of mind to tell yourself how good you are? Tell me, maybe I can learn something from you.

I wish you all a good night/evening/day wherever you are, and remember to tell yourself how great and fantastic you are!

Love

Carina

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." - Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency." - Natalie Goldberg

Stress is an emergency that needs to be dealt with immediately.

I realised yesterday that I am feeling stressed in my new job. It is not the job itself that is making me stressed though; I love what I'm doing and I think I am doing it very well. It is not even the fact that I am short of time to do all I need to do before deadline. No, it is the fact that my editor is stressed and because she is stressed she wants me to do stuff on a last minute warning, and that is making me stressed. I am a planning person, I don't like sudden changes (unless I come up with them), and I plan my time. Not every minute or even every hour of it, but to the point that I know that tomorrow I am spending my whole day doing research and writing, so that I might be able to get some time off the following day. Now, if my boss were to ask me to come to her office to work tomorrow that mean that I have to change all my plans, not only for tomorrow but for the day after and probably for the day after that as well.  That is what is making me stressed.

I understand that my editor is under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment, we are doing the first issue of a new magazine and she wants everything to be as good as it possibly can. What she doesn't seem to realise is that if I don't get the time I need, when I need it, to do what I need to do; then what I do will not be as good as it can be, and we both want and need it to be. This is both our future, it is not only now and this issue.  However, we are doing it in about half the time we will have in the future and it is the first time for us. I am sure it is only teething problems and once it is all in print and the first issue is out, we can all sit down and talk about what we like and don't like and what needs to be changed for the next issue. Baby steps for a grown up is sometimes hard.

Anyway, I might be feeling stressed but since I realise it I can do something about it. I am in charge of my life and what I don't like I can take control over and change. I will do my job as good as I possibly can, and that is all I can do, but I will do it without stress. Stress will only make it bad, and it will put bad feelings into what I write and that is not good. I’m taking my time and I am doing it my way.

My dream of being a writer has a lot to do with freedom, to work a lot on my own conditions, a writer is an artist and not an office worker. A writer needs the freedom to fly. Give us a deadline and we will do what is necessary to make it, but don't hold us down. We will either get a writer's block or leave you screaming behind us. Some guidelines and rules and how it is supposed to be written is fine, and sometimes good, but don't plan our time for us.

This is all new to me and I am realising more and more about it as I go along. Knowledge is good, knowledge will help me understand why I react and feel the way I feel and as long as I know that I can work with it instead of against it.

If you are stressed you need to learn how to prioritise what you need to do. I said no to meeting my editor today, I don't have time because I have a job to do. I am writing this blog post because it is relaxes me to write it and it puts me in the writing state of mind. I do what I need to do to be able to do what I need to do. Everything is not an emergency! Although feeling stressed is, so take care of that first, and after that you can get on with what else needs to be done.

What makes you stressed? Why does it make you stressed? What are you doing about it?

You can read about Natalie Goldberg here and here.

Love

Carina

"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities... because it is the quality which guarantees all others." – Winston Churchill

Do you have courage to make use of your qualities?

Courage, to me, is to do something even though you are scared of doing it, or if you don't know where it is heading. To take that step, or maybe even a big leap, into the unknown is courage. Without courage that first step would never be taken, ever or by anyone. Without courage no other qualities count.

I'm experiencing this at the moment. I had a meeting yesterday that might lead to a job doing a lot of the things I dream about doing. I have never done any of those things before, professionally, but if I get the job offer I will most certainly jump on the opportunity and I will do my absolute best to do a fantastic job. And it takes a lot of courage, will and love to take such a leap in a career, and I'm really scared.

Those of you that know me, and those of you that follow my blog, know that my dream is to make money, and support myself, writing. You also know that I can be very social but also a lone wolf at times. This job would include all of those aspects, as well as proof reading and a bit of editing of what other people have written. Something I've been doing my whole life (due to a mother that was proof reading for the local newspaper and a step father that worked as a printer at the same paper when I grew up, always correcting every little error that occurred in everything I wrote or said), and usually do without even thinking of it. Correcting spelling and grammar is natural to me.

Now,  if I wouldn't take this opportunity, if given to me, if I wouldn't be courageous enough to do it then it wouldn't matter how good a writer I am, or how good I am at spelling or if I would be a charming interviewer because I wouldn't need those qualities.

If the Wright brothers hadn't had the courage to try their flying invention then they would never have known if it was working and the world would be a completely different place from what it is today. That first courageous step is what makes all the difference, it is what is needed to change the world, your life or you into something better than it is. It is what gives you the opportunities to use your other qualities.

Courage comes from your within, it's all inside you and has always been there. You just need to start using it. You need to trust yourself that whatever happens you will be great. I don't need this job, but I would LOVE to get it. If I don't get  it I will still be great. I will keep writing and I will keep taking the chances that come my way. If I get the job and it doesn't work out, at least I will know that I was courageous enough to give it a try and I will not have to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.

So follow your heart, find your inner courage and trust that whatever you do everything will be great, one way or another.

For more information about Sir Winston Churchill follow this link or this.

Love
Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." - John C. Lilly

It's a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It's true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don't change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can't control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven't complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn't showing at first sight. And if not, it's not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn't changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

If you let fear control your life, you will never get what you want.

Do you chose not to do something because you are afraid of failing? I know a lot of people do and I sure have. I try not to think that way anymore though. I mean, what good does it do me to not even try to do something I want to do?

I have friends who dream about meeting the Right Man or Woman, most people do. Only these particular friends have bad experiences from bad relationships in the past and now they are afraid to give it another try. The problem with that way of thinking is that if they don't try again they can never heal and they will never find Mr och Miss Right. If you are one of those people you need to read this!

To heal from that sort of experiences you need to put yourself in similar situations and learn that every person you meet and every relationship you have is different. If you tend to choose the same kind of partner, that hurt you or treat you badly in same kind of way, over and over again then you need to have a good look at yourself, but you should never ever stop trying. The hard truth is that if you stop trying you will never get it right. You might not get hurt ever again, but you will not be loved, or love, the way you dream of ever again either.

I have been in plenty of "bad" relationships, I have never been physically abused but I have been mentally abused in a couple of them and cheated on in almost all of them. It has never stopped me from trying again and again; it has never stopped me from giving the next guy a chance. Although I have a fantastic boyfriend and an amazing relationship now, I still struggle with feelings of insecurity sometimes. I still fear that I am not enough, or that I'm not able to love the way I want to be loved and yet I KNOW that I am enough to my boyfriend and that he does love me the way I want to be loved. So, you see, I do have the fear but I am healing every day thanks to what I have today, thanks to my lovely Man. But if I hadn't given him a chance, I would still be alone, wounded and scared and I would never ever have found the Right Man for me.

The same philosophy goes for everything you want in life. My fear of striking out got in the way of my dream about writing, but I'm not letting the fear win anymore. Fear is something that is fabricated in one's head; fear is something you can control. You are in charge and the biggest way of striking out is to not even take the shot.

To learn more about "Babe" Ruth read this and this.

Love
Carina

The Optimist Creed (part 10,11 and 12)

If you're true to who you are, the world is always on your side!

* Promise yourself to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Do you spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things that might happen? Do you get angry a lot, or easily? Do you fear certain situations in life? Are you troubled about something? If you are worried, angry, fearful or troubled (one or all of them) you are not doing yourself a favour. The person that is most affected by any of those feelings or states of mind are you. And for what purpose, worry never leads anywhere, anger creates more anger, feeling fear holds you back and if you're troubled you spend your time thinking negative thoughts instead of focusing on the positive things in your life. Be too large for fear, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble and I promise you, you will be a much happier person.

* Promise yourself to think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
I am my biggest fan! Not in a bragging kind of way, but the fact is that nobody can ever make a better job being me, than me, so why shouldn't I be proud and impressed and think that I am awesome. Now, I'm only proclaiming this here so you will get the point in this, I don't usually go around telling people that I'm the best. One reason is that, hopefully, to them it's not true. To them they themselves should be the best. I know I can do whatever I want to do, if I have my heart set on it. I know that I am fantastic in most ways, and I don't have to tell people that, because I act it so they already know it. If I act in the best way I possibly can, nobody will think badly of me, but most important of all. I won't think badly of myself. So I think well about myself and act accordingly. That is all that is to it. That is how I proclaim my greatness to the world.

* Promise yourself to live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you? I did, but I've come to realise that that is not the case. The only thing, or person, that can be against you is you. Or, nothing can be against you unless you are against you. Do you ever feel like something is unfair? Well, it's not. As long as you are true to the best that is in you, the whole world will be on your side. Sure, you will still experience loss and sorrow because that is a part of life, that is for us to learn and remind ourselves of the life we're in. I learned that when my dad died, because the one wish he had was that me and the rest of his loved ones would live the lives of our dreams, that we would be happy and love each other and ourselves. He didn't wish for himself to be well and stay alive. He wanted us to follow our dreams and be true to ourselves. The world is never against you, unless you allow it to be, it is your choice. If you can't change the situation, change how you think about it. Be true to yourself, and believe that the world is there for you, if you want it.

I try to read "the Optimist Creed" (here is the creed and everything I've written about it)  by Christian D. Larson more or less every day, to remind myself of who I am and who I want to be. I think that if you try to live your life following these "rules", you're life will be amazing. I want my life to be amazing. My life actually is amazing already, because I live it by these "rules". My doctor used to say; "You should be in the driver's seat of your life, nobody else can get you where you want to go". Take control, be in charge, love yourself and your world and the world and your life will love you back.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiving is healing for body and soul!

I don't want to be a prisoner so I decided a while ago to forgive those who have hurt me over the years. I've been hurt in so many different ways by a number of different people. People that I considered to be good friends, even best friends have hurt me real bad. For no apparent reason at all. Even someone in my closest family hurt me really bad, at a time when I needed more love and support than ever before. Most people have been hurt one way or another, by someone. I let the same people hurt me several times at one point in my life. That was the time when I didn't love myself and I didn't believe that I was worthy anything good in my life.

I had to go deep into myself to figure out my own part in the different matters and I had to forgive myself for them before I could forgive anybody else. I think you carry around a lot of guilt after you have been hurt, guilt that you should have known better, or left sooner or told them off, or you shouldn't have said this or that or done this or that. The blame you put on yourself, whatever it is about, is a very heavy bourdon. It weighs you down. After I started to explore myself and forgive myself I noticed that I felt lighter and happier. And after I forgave the people that had hurt me I felt a big relief and even happier.

When I happened to look back on those events and people, before the forgiveness, I usually got physical symptoms like stomach ache, or head ache. Now I can look back on the same events and the same people and see the good times and the good moments I've had with those people before things went wrong. That is quite a nice feeling. I'm not saying that I would want to go back to being friends with them again, they were a part of my life in the past. I brought them all with me to the future and suffered from them in the present that was, until I forgave me and them. Now I've left them where they belong, in the past. They can't get to me anymore, I've outgrown them and I've moved on. They had their chances.

I used to be a prisoner, but I forgave and now I'm free and that is a fantastic feeling. Forgiving is healing.

Did someone hurt you and you carry around anger, quilt, regret or even hate? If so, you need to understand that all the emotions and negative thoughts you put on them don't affect them the least. All those negative feelings and thoughts just bounce back to you and make you feel even worse. Find it in your heart to forgive yourself and the one that hurt you. You won't regret it!

"If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." - Gerald Good

Make Gratitude your Attitude!

To be thankful for all that you've got and all that you are about to get, is not as easy as you might think. But it’s not as hard as you might think either. It's a matter of opening up your eyes and your heart to your life and focus on all the good things. Gratitude is a very important key if you want to be happy.

When I wake up in the morning I feel love and happiness for waking up next to the most wonderful man, and our cat. I feel grateful for it. As I look out the window and sea the Mediterranean Sea and the horizon above the roof tops, I feel thankful. I feel grateful for my diet that allows me to have cream in my coffee. Being thankful, feeling gratitude is falling in love. I fall in love with all the people, situations and things I feel grateful for. It's great to fall in love with my man over and over again, sometimes several times a day. It makes me happy that I am thankful for everything.

I know what I expect in the future, I know what I want for me in life and I am grateful for that. I know I will get it all, as long as I"m thankful for what is to come. If you think that I sound like a religious fanatic now, you are wrong. I am not religious, although I might be a bit of a fanatic. But here"s the thing. Since I started to be thankful for things in my life (big and small) my life has turned around. I used to be a lot more depressed; I used to think that life treated me bad and unfair. That everybody else was better off than I was. I used to think that I would never find what I wanted in life and that I would never be as happy as I wanted to be.

Do you think that your house is too small, or your clothes are too old? Or maybe your hair is too straight, or your teeth are too yellow? Be grateful that you have a house, and that you have clothes. Be thankful that you still have your own hair and your own teeth. There are possibilities to be grateful for everything, every little detail, in your life. All the things you feel bad about, there is something about them to feel thankful for.

I can't remember what put me on to try thankfulness, but whatever it was I am thankful for it. Today I am happier than I ever thought possible. My dream about living by the blue sea under the warm sun came true. My dream about writing has come true with this blog. My dream of being happy came true. My dream about finding the perfect man for me came true. I believe it all started with gratitude for what I already had, back then. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill and a lot of dreams to expand. They will all come true too, I know that, and I am thankful for it. All my dreams will come true!! How cool is that?!

What are you thankful for in your life? List all the things in your life that you love, no matter how small and silly it seems. Those things are what you should be grateful for, that is what you should focus on. Be grateful, it will change your life around to the better!

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." - James M. Barrie

Bring sunshine into the lives of others by sharing your love.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself and about your own life is to "bring sunshine into the lives of others". This blog is me sharing the knowledge I've gathered, my wisdom of life. I share it with you because it makes me feel good, but also because maybe what I know, what I've experienced and what I share might help one of you out there that is reading this. I'm hoping that I bring a little bit of sunshine into someone else's life. I love helping people find their way to what they want, what they love and dream of. It makes me happy when I can help someone else be happy.

I believe that what you give is what you get, but you get more than you give. I started this blog only a couple of weeks ago, and good things are starting to happen in my life. In the last three days, out of the blue, it's been decided that my son, who I haven't seen for 6 months will come for a 3 week visit and he's getting the flight here paid from someone who normally never pays for anything that can benefit me. What a miracle! That's not all though, it has also been decided that my sister will come for a visit in a few months time, I haven't seen her for a year and a half. The flights were booked and paid for within a few others from first thought. Another miracle! I get to see two of the most important people in my life, the two people that I want to see the most, that I haven't seen for a far too long time and I am so happy.

I am convinced that my attitude towards life and my wish, and my actions, to try to bring sunshine upon others is what make all these things happen, without there being any effort put into it. I also think that it helps a lot that I am genuinely happy for my friends that have a lot of nice things going on in their lives, even though it means that they are leaving me to move far away. I love it when good things happen to people around me, it gives me the chills. Good chills. "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." (James m. Barrie) As long as I keep doing what I'm doing, the sun will keep shining on me.

Are you bringing sunshine into someone's life? Are you happy for other people? Do you have good things happening in your life? Are you sharing your love, without asking for anything in return? If not, try it, it's a great feeling. If you are already doing it, keep doing what you’re doing!

"Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends." - Virginia Woolf

Love your friends and they will love you back.

I love my friends, I think I am extremely privileged to have the friends I have. It did take me some time, actually a lot of years and heart aches, to learn what a good friend is. To me a good friend is someone who can make you laugh, someone who picks you up when you're down, someone who tells you the truth even if it's the last thing you want to hear. It is someone who loves you for exactly who you are, and someone that watches, and helps, you grow with proud and joy. A good friend is someone you can be honest with, someone you can trust no matter what. It is someone who doesn't judge you, but still tells you when you did something wrong. A good friend is someone who is happy for you when you find your right way in life, even though you might end up far away for them.

Do you think I ask a lot of my friends? I don't. These criteria are what I expect of myself as a friend, and there is no reason why I should want something less than the best of what there is. I don't consider myself lucky to have the amazing friends I have, I know that I deserve it. I am, as I said, privileged that they consider me their friend. I know that they love me as much as I love them. I know that they are there for me when I need them, just as they know I am there for them when they need me. Even if it's not always possible to be there in person.

Virginia Wolf said; "Some people go to priest, others to poetry. I to my friends.". That is what I do too. I went through a very hard time a few years ago and my friends helped me through it. When I broke down completely, my friends sat beside me watching over me to make sure I was ok. When I decided to move to another country, my friends supported me one hundred percent. My friends are the best friends in the world! Can you say that about your friends? Do your friends treat you as you treat them? Do you treat them as you want to be treated by them?

Friends are one of the great joys of life and some of the greatest loves of your life, make sure you enjoy your friends and make sure they know they are appreciated. If you don’t have any great friends, you might want to think about why that is and do something about it.

To my fantastic, wonderful and amazing friend; I just want to say that I adore you, love you and I am so happy and proud to have you in my life!

"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you - always." – Oprah Winfrey

It always begins with you! Everything in your life begins with you, everything about you begins with you. How is that possible? Because your life's centre is You, not your kids, your friends, your partner or your parents. Only You! You are responsible for your life, and you can never be responsible for somebody else's life (unless for your children's, and in that case you are responsible for teaching them responsibility for their own lives).

My first realisation that my life is my responsibility was about 15 years ago, when I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah, with her attitude and love for life and the people in the world, inspired me to take a good look at my own life. I am grateful to her for sharing her knowledge, and for sharing the people that helped her get it. I am grateful that I was smart enough to listen to them. I figured that if she can I can too.

You are responsible for your life, and it doesn't matter who you are or where you come from. It doesn't matter what your current situation is, YOU are still responsible for your life. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start changing your circumstances. I always say, if there is something in your life you're not happy with, it's up to you (and nobody else) to change that situation, no matter what it is. If you don't even try to change it, you do not have the right to whine and complain about it. Because, again, your life begins with YOU! YOU are the centre of your life! YOU have the responsibility for your life!

MY life is in MY hands, and that is a great feeling! That means that I can make it what I want it to be and that is so cool! Do you take responsibility for your own life and for yourself? If not, maybe it is about time to change that!

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” - Arthur Rubinstein

I am a big believer in Love. I’m not only talking about Love for my partner, son, family and friends. I’m talking about Love for everything in my life. And most of all the Love for my life. And all the small details that make up my life. Everything from where I live, that I live, how I live, to the clothes I wear, my work, the sun, the wind, the sea, and on to the fact that I can read and write (sure helps me a lot when I do this!), that I have eyes that work well enough do use them for this. That I am constantly learning about Love and life. Loving everything has helped me become a better person, a happier person, simply because it brings me good feelings about everything and about me. I love life and life loves me back and if life loves me back, than I can’t be such a bad person. Right?!

Of course, it wasn’t always like this. I’ve had my fair share of bad situations, bad feelings, fights for the will to live, hating life, hating circumstances and so on. I’ve worked my way to where I am today and it hasn’t always been an easy trip. But at the end of the day, all those situations, and feelings has helped me to get here. And that makes me grateful for all my experiences, and that makes me love my past even if it wasn’t always easy or fun.

I believe that the world would be a much better place if everybody could just see all the good things in their lives, instead of all the things they lack. I’m not saying it’s wrong to want something more or something even better than what they already have. It is a necessity to keep striving for something better. Although, I do think that most people need to take a hard look on what they want and why they want it. I love my life, and my life loves me back, but I still want an even better life, because the strive helps me grow. And I love to grow!!! How about you? Do you love life? Does life love you back?