It's a wonderful life!

Almost three months ago I started a new job, and I love it. Not just the job itself, but my collegues and the company are all fantastic. I am well paid and I am now going through the process of spending money on material things I wanted for a while, but don't really need. And I'm loving it. I can already feel that the urge to spend in decreasing. Another month or two and I will be content enough and I will start saving.

I have got a few trips to look forward to next year. First up will be a short trip to Sweden in January with my son, after that a trip to Italy with my Sweetie, and hopefully there will be another trip to Sweden during the summer. Hopefully for a family reunion, but it all depends on wether my cousins that are shattered all over the world can all join at the same time. Time will tell!

I have noticed a drop in my creativity during the summer, probably due to the heat, but I am now feeling an increase again. Hoooray!! I think a part of the drop had to do with my laptop becoming extremely hot adding to the already existing heat. But, it has now cooled down a bit, even though it is still very warm and nice outside, and also I bought myself a tablet whkch makes it a lot easier to write and post new posts frequently. Even though the writing itself it a bit more time consuming the total amount of time is less.

The pic is of the home made pizza I made for the monthly Girly Night this past Saturday. It's a low-carb pizza, with the base made of almond flour and grated cheese, and it is abdolutely delicious!

Love//
Carina

Sunday Music Time - Because I'm Happy

It's Sunday again, and it's time for some music. Today I want you all to clap along! A Happy tune by Pharrell Williams, perfect for a Sunny, or rainy, Sunday afternoon/morning/evening. Actually, it's perfect for every day! It is the soundtrack from the animated film Despicable Me 2 and it is called.... Happy!




As always on Sundays I am not doing anything in particular. Today has been spent reading, Agatha Christie, again. Did I ever mention that I love reading, and Sundays, and doing nothing, and my life? Well, I do, all of it and more! Tomorrow I am expecting good news, and if all goes as planned (and it will) I will be sharing them with you during the coming week. The excitement is high, as it should always be!

So, Clap Along and be Happy! Life is fantastic!

Love
Carina

10 Reasons Why You Would Want To Be You. “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr Seuss

Society, parents, schools, friends and sometimes even you yourself try to fit you into a mold, form or shape of their idea of what a good human being is. This will make most people confused and might be the biggest reason for people being unhappy today. There are, however, plenty of good reasons for you to find yourself and to stay yourself throghout the rest of your life.

 Dare You To Move - Switchfoot

Here are 10 reasons why you would want to be you:

1. If you are your true self, nobody will be able to think of you as, or call you, a fake and be right about it. There will always be someone out there that doesn't like you, that calls you names or tells untrue stories about you, but as long as you are yourself they will never be right. You will always be the winner in those situations.

2. It is so much easier to remember your opinions and standpoints in different situations if they are your own. Lying is not being honest and not being yourself. If you tell a lie you will to remember what you said. If you are you you are truthful and it doesn't matter if you remember it or not, because it was the truth and you know it.

3. You can never ever be someone else better than they are themselves anyway so why put your energy on it. Not being able to be the best of who you are is painful, and if you are somebody else you will never be the best. It will always be painful in the end. At least if you are yourself you have a chance of being the best of who you are.

4. Nobody else can be you better than you can, so why not be you. Just as you can never be somebody else better than they are themselves, someone else can never be you better than you are. This means that if you are somebody else, you as you are meant to be, will never be.

5. You can never live your dream life if you are not you. You have a dream life somewhere waiting for you, but you will never live it unless you start being you. No matter what your dream life is. If you are not you, you will not live your dream life. You might live someone else's, but your life will never be lived.

6. When you achieve something, reach a goal it is so much nicer to do it as yourself than as somebody else. If you achieve something when you are not you it is not you achieving it. When you reach a goal when you are not you it is not you reaching the goal. The reaching and achieving might be nice, but it will never as great as it is when you achieving something or reach your goals as yourself.

7. It is impossible to know what your dreams and goals are if you are not you. What are your dreams specifically? Are they truly your dreams and goals or are they a product of everybody, or at least somebody, else's dreams and goals? You will never know what your real dreams and goals are in life if you are not you living your life. Why would you want to achieve a goal that isn't yours?

8. Being somebody else in your body will eventually be a complete mismatch and your body will start to revolt. Your body is your temple. You can not change your body and your looks into someone else's, unless you have a lot of plastic surgery done, If you are someone else, your body will still be yours and some time down the road your body will start to disagree with the fact that you are not being you living your life fulfiling your dreams. How your body will show you that will differ from person to person, but if you listen to it it will tell you. You are not supposed to be in pain, if you are something is wrong with the inner being inside you.

9. You only have one life, that you know of, and why would you want to live that life as someone you are not. Even if you believe in reinkarnation it is highly unlikely that you will remember it from life to life. You need to do with this life the best that you can, and you need to do it as yourself. Why would you want to waste your one life on being something or someone your not, living up to other peoples expectations and fulfilling other people's dreams when you can live up to your own expectations and fulfill your own dreams.

10. You will never ever be truly and deeply happy as someone you are not. Everybody wants to be happy, it is the essence of life itself, but how can you ever be truly happy if you are not you? If you live your life listening to everybody but yourself you might end up having a somewhat good and comfortable life, but on the day you die what you will regret mostly will be all the times you didn't follow your own wishes, feelings and dreams. Follow your own heart is being yourself, Being yourself is being happy.

Do you agree with me? Or do you disagree? What are your thoughts and feelings about this subject? Are you being you, living your dream life, fulfilling your own dreams? Have you got any other reason that I didn't list here? Please, leave a comment and let me know what you think. 

To read more about Dr Seuss follow this and this. 
Lyrics to "Dare You To Move"- by Switchfoot

Love
Carina 

10 Things You Should Do Every Day ("If you want to be happy, be." - Leo Tolstoy)

Most of us wake up in the morning, follow the same little routine without thinking about what we are doing, we go to work and then home, we cook because we have to, we eat because we need to and eventually we go to bed without having done, thought or felt anything special. The next day is the same, the next week is the same, the next month is the same, even the next year is the same. And so life goes on without leaving any marks on you, and you go on without leaving any marks on life.

If you want to be happy you have to think happy! Today!

Here is a list of 10 things you can, and should do every day to change your feelings about your life without changing your life (much):

Be happy and grateful for all the good things you've got in your life. We all have a lot of things to be happy and grateful for. That we are alive, that we have a bed to sleep in, our partner, kids, family, friends and pets, that we have food on our table every day, that we can read and hear, that we have a house to live in, that we have a table in our house, that we woke up in the morning, that we have a heart to love with.. Nothing is too big or too small to recognise and be grateful for. 

Plan your day, fill it with happy thoughts and happy feelings. When you go to sleep at night make sure you plan the next day, not so much in actions as in feelings. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be a good day no matter what comes your way. Nothing will disturb your peace of mind. You will smile and be grateful and happy for everything all day long. When you wake up in the morning remember those thoughts and the feeling you had when you thought them. 

Smile and laugh as much as you possibly can. Even if there is nothing obvious to smile or laugh about do it anyway. Sing a happy little song, take some silly dance steps, think of something funny, try to make up a joke to tell your friends at work. Think of all the things you are grateful and happy for. Remember the first love you felt for your partner, or child. Find something to think about that will make you smile everytime you think about it, or do something that will make you smile everytime you do it, if you find yourself being a bit down.

Tell someone you love them. When you tell someone you love them it will make you feel good. It's as simple as that.

Make someone feel good about themselves. Say something nice to someone who's not expecting it. Tell a stranger they look very nice, Smile at someone you meet on the street. Tell your boss you enjoy working with him or her. Tell a friend about a good quality you think they have. Tell your partner or your child that you are proud of them. It will make their day, lift them up and that will make your day and lift you up.

Enjoy everything you eat and drink. Food and beverages are so much more than just something we need. It is tasty, and nice, and it helps your body and you to feel good. Make sure to learn what foods and drinks you feel good eating and drinking. Everybody is different and feel good from eating and drinking different things. Avoid what makes you feel physically and mentally bad, stay with the good stuff. And enjoy!

Do something creative; write,draw, cook or move your furniture around. What makes you drift away for a while, what connects you to your inner self? Most people have some kind of a creative pet peeve within them. Whether it is writing, drawing, painting, jig saw puzzling, cooking, working out doesn't matter, just do it! Half an hour every day is enough to calm yourself down and get in touch with yourself.

Relax and enjoy it. This is very important! Most people do not realise how important relaxing is for you. When you relax you load your batteries, not only the bodily batteries but also your brain and emotions. Take your time to just sit there without doing anything whatsoever for at least 10 minutes a day, and learn how to enjoy it. Again, you can think of all the good things in your life, or the feeling of being completely relaxed.

Love yourself. The root to everything is to love yourself. Find the good things about you, do you like your eyes think of them. Do you like how you always try to improve as a human being, focus on that. Do you like your hair today, love it. Are you a caring person, embrace and notice that. Make a mental list of all the things you like about you, and remember to remember them every day.

Do at least one thing that will bring you closer to a dream. Every person alive has dreams, things they would love to do, have or be. Find out what your dreams are (and yes it is probably that thing you are telling yourself that it's not because you can't fulfill it anyway) and do at least one thing every day to bring you closer to that dream. Do you want to be fit, find out what foods are good for you and what kind of work out you enjoy and then eat that food (while enjoying it) and do that work out. Is your dream to travel, start making plans, saving money, looking at flights and hotells. Is it to write a book, start writing, anything. Whatever your dream is you can achieve it, but you have to take steps in that direction. It will not happen all on it's own. First thing is to allow yourself to recognise your dreams.

If you do these things every day I promise you it will make you feel better, you will start to enjoy your life more and your dreams will begin to come true! Enjoy and good luck!

Read about Leo Tolstoy! 

Love
Carina

"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious." - Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren't very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn't work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn't true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don't do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true." - Napoleon Hill

You have got the power to make your dreams come true. Are you using that power?

We, as human beings, have the possibility to dream and the power to make our dreams come true. I know that because I have done it my whole life; although it took me quite a long time to realise what my dreams were.

My son is my first dream coming true, although I wasn't really aware of it back then. I have young parents myself and I always wanted to become a young mother, I didn't expect to be quite as young and alone, but there he was; my beautiful baby boy. 22 years later he is still my baby and I couldn't be more proud of him.

My second dream coming true is to live abroad, by the ocean in the sun. That dream came true two and half years ago out of a sudden decision in chaos. The cold and dark weather in Sweden never did appeal to me, although I can enjoy cuddling up in the sofa under a rug with candles lit and a nice book to read. I can that here too, though.

My third dream coming true is to meet my dream man. I did and he is no longer in my dreams but in my reality and my every day life and I am loving and enjoying every second of it. He is everything I ever wanted in a man but more and better.

My fourth dream coming true is to make money writing, and this dream is coming true right now. My new job gives me that opportunity. That's all I can say about it at the moment since it's so fresh that it hasn't really sunk in yet.

I am now looking forward to whatever dream it is that will come true next, because I am positive I have got more coming to me.

With exception of my first dream coming true when I was very young (although that was a part of the dream) it took me a long time to have the rest of them come to me. I am sure that is because I wasn't ready for them earlier. I think you need to be in the right state of mind and the right state of believing in yourself and your dreams for them to come true.

What state of mind and state of believing in yourself and your dreams are you in? Are your dreams coming true?

To learn more about Napoleon Hill, read here.Mr Hill was born 128 years ago today, so Happy Birthday to him!

Love

Carina

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way" - George Herman "Babe" Ruth

If you let fear control your life, you will never get what you want.

Do you chose not to do something because you are afraid of failing? I know a lot of people do and I sure have. I try not to think that way anymore though. I mean, what good does it do me to not even try to do something I want to do?

I have friends who dream about meeting the Right Man or Woman, most people do. Only these particular friends have bad experiences from bad relationships in the past and now they are afraid to give it another try. The problem with that way of thinking is that if they don't try again they can never heal and they will never find Mr och Miss Right. If you are one of those people you need to read this!

To heal from that sort of experiences you need to put yourself in similar situations and learn that every person you meet and every relationship you have is different. If you tend to choose the same kind of partner, that hurt you or treat you badly in same kind of way, over and over again then you need to have a good look at yourself, but you should never ever stop trying. The hard truth is that if you stop trying you will never get it right. You might not get hurt ever again, but you will not be loved, or love, the way you dream of ever again either.

I have been in plenty of "bad" relationships, I have never been physically abused but I have been mentally abused in a couple of them and cheated on in almost all of them. It has never stopped me from trying again and again; it has never stopped me from giving the next guy a chance. Although I have a fantastic boyfriend and an amazing relationship now, I still struggle with feelings of insecurity sometimes. I still fear that I am not enough, or that I'm not able to love the way I want to be loved and yet I KNOW that I am enough to my boyfriend and that he does love me the way I want to be loved. So, you see, I do have the fear but I am healing every day thanks to what I have today, thanks to my lovely Man. But if I hadn't given him a chance, I would still be alone, wounded and scared and I would never ever have found the Right Man for me.

The same philosophy goes for everything you want in life. My fear of striking out got in the way of my dream about writing, but I'm not letting the fear win anymore. Fear is something that is fabricated in one's head; fear is something you can control. You are in charge and the biggest way of striking out is to not even take the shot.

To learn more about "Babe" Ruth read this and this.

Love
Carina

"Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals" - Jim Rohn

Keep working towards your goals and love every part of your life, and you are successful.

What is success to you? When do you reckon someone is successful, or has a successful life? Do you think of yourself as successful? What are your criteria for success?

Whether you are successful or not is all up to you and how you define it. For me it is about being happy in all areas of life. You are not successful if only one or two areas are a success, although you are on your way. Everybody has to start somewhere.

If I take myself as an example, I believe that I am successful and that I have a successful life. I am constantly growing as a human being and I am working towards my personal goals. I have two jobs that I love, I've enrolled to a writer's course that I want to do and I am learning the language of the country I live in. Career wise I am a very busy woman right now and I love all the things I do. Unfortunately, that is not ideal because I do not have enough spare time or as much time with my boyfriend as I would like to have, but it is only for another month. The reason we don't have much time together right now is that he works daytime and I work night time. But we always have Sundays when we are both off, so it is workable for the short period of time it lasts. Why am I doing this? Well, it is so I can get the money for my courses and to bring in some extra money for the winter when I will be spending a lot of time writing and studying to get an even better life in the future. The Spanish classes will make it easier for me to find a good day time job and the writer's course will eventually help me support myself writing. I consider myself successful career wise because I am doing something I love so I can do something else I love even more in the future. I am, in short, happy in my career and that makes me successful in my work life.

I am also happy in my life in total which makes me successful there as well. I have a fantastic man that I love and that loves me, my son is doing well and I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. I love where I live and I love myself, just as I am, but I am always striving to get better and to make my life better. I am working for abundance in all areas of my life and I am happy when doing so. That to me is success.

So, are you successful in all areas of your life? What do want to change, and what do you need to do to change it?

Read more about Jim Rohn here.

Love
Carina

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." – George Bernard Shaw

Your life is your creation.

There are so many ways to look upon life, and every person has their own view or views. I have more than one view and this quote states one of them. Those of you that have been following Quality Inside And Out knows that I am all about personal responsibility of your own life. It is all up to you how your life was, is or will be. You create it and you create yourself. There is no blame, only lack of knowledge.

So, who do you want to be? What kind of person do you admire? What would you like to do? What type of partner do you want to spend your life with? Do you want to spend your life with someone? What is happiness to you? Do you think you are lost in life? How much money do you want to have? What would you do if you had a lot of money?

These are all good question that are worth asking yourself. I can only help you answer one of them. Do you think you are lost in life? If you think so, you are wrong. Life isn't place where it is possible to get lost, because you control it. You control where you are and who you are. So stop looking for yourself and start creating yourself.

Personally I believe that as soon as you acknowledge the fact that you are in charge of yourself, who you are and where you are in life, you will start to change automatically and by default. You can't help not to. I believe that we all have an inner urge to be the best that we can be. Sure, there are some people that will fight that feeling because they are unsecure and scared of what might come out of it. Don't be. I don't believe it is possible for people to change into something worse then they are if they are striving to be better. The trip might not be straight ahead full speed the whole time, but at times it will be. Sometimes the road will be very bumpy and sometimes the road you're on will be closed so you will have take a detour. That is not a bad thing. That is when you will learn the most about how to create yourself into who you want to be.

I've been on this trip as long as I can remember, and I will keep being on it for the rest of my life. I change, the world around me change, my needs and wants change, my inspirations change, well, everything change. I love changes, because changes allows me to see and/or do something new, it will create new visions and new goals. Or it will give me a new way to get to my goal. What I do with it is all up to me, I will create the end result of it.

I am creating me, and I know I will love the end result. I know so because I love every step on the way, whatever it is that I want in life I am getting it because I only want what I love, so I will love the end result whatever it will be. Will you be pleased with the end result of you?? Or will you love it?

To learn more about George Bernard Shaw follow this link, or read here or here.

Love Carina

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." – Bob Moawad

The day you start taking responsibility for your own life is the day your life begins.

I take complete responsibility of my life, and everything in it. From the things I have, or don't have, to the people that are in it, or that are not, all the way down to the different situations that occur, or don't occur. I don't believe in coincidences and I don't believe in faith. I make my life; I get what I want and what I believe I should have and nothing less.

Being born and brought up in Sweden, I've always been surrounded by safety nets and I was forced in a young age to start using them. After a while I knew how to take advantage of them, which in some ways led me to not having to take total responsibility of myself and my life. If I f***ed up I would always land on something, if not soft, than semi-soft. That led me to a special kind of laziness. I mean, why work for what I really wanted when I could just, more or less, sit back and have a comfortable enough life without any real effort. It never made me feel good, or worthy of a good life.

And then I moved abroad, and all of a sudden things were different. All of a sudden I needed to be responsible for everything in my life. Now, you would think that it would be difficult and hard, but on the contrary; I loved it! For the first time in my adult life I was in control of how my life was and would be and it was a freeing feeling. If something went wrong it was all my fault, or my responsibility to make it right. If something went right it was all my doing!
I did something right! And I can honestly say that it was a new beginning. Sweden is great because they have all those safety nets, but too many people never learn that they themselves are responsible for their lives and nobody else. I think it's sad and I think it is one of the reasons why Swedish people are so unhappy, because a lot of them are. People need to be in charge of their own lives to be happy.

Today I am a very happy person, who likes to be in control of my life. I've chosen every single part of it, for myself because I wanted it. The feeling is liberating. I wish every person in the world will get to feel it some day, because once they've felt it they want to remain in it.

So I've got a question for you; are you responsible for your own life? Are you taking responsibilty for your own happiness and for your dreams? If not, try to answer this question; why? And what can you do to change it?

Love Carina

The Optimist Creed (part 10,11 and 12)

If you're true to who you are, the world is always on your side!

* Promise yourself to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Do you spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things that might happen? Do you get angry a lot, or easily? Do you fear certain situations in life? Are you troubled about something? If you are worried, angry, fearful or troubled (one or all of them) you are not doing yourself a favour. The person that is most affected by any of those feelings or states of mind are you. And for what purpose, worry never leads anywhere, anger creates more anger, feeling fear holds you back and if you're troubled you spend your time thinking negative thoughts instead of focusing on the positive things in your life. Be too large for fear, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble and I promise you, you will be a much happier person.

* Promise yourself to think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
I am my biggest fan! Not in a bragging kind of way, but the fact is that nobody can ever make a better job being me, than me, so why shouldn't I be proud and impressed and think that I am awesome. Now, I'm only proclaiming this here so you will get the point in this, I don't usually go around telling people that I'm the best. One reason is that, hopefully, to them it's not true. To them they themselves should be the best. I know I can do whatever I want to do, if I have my heart set on it. I know that I am fantastic in most ways, and I don't have to tell people that, because I act it so they already know it. If I act in the best way I possibly can, nobody will think badly of me, but most important of all. I won't think badly of myself. So I think well about myself and act accordingly. That is all that is to it. That is how I proclaim my greatness to the world.

* Promise yourself to live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is against you? I did, but I've come to realise that that is not the case. The only thing, or person, that can be against you is you. Or, nothing can be against you unless you are against you. Do you ever feel like something is unfair? Well, it's not. As long as you are true to the best that is in you, the whole world will be on your side. Sure, you will still experience loss and sorrow because that is a part of life, that is for us to learn and remind ourselves of the life we're in. I learned that when my dad died, because the one wish he had was that me and the rest of his loved ones would live the lives of our dreams, that we would be happy and love each other and ourselves. He didn't wish for himself to be well and stay alive. He wanted us to follow our dreams and be true to ourselves. The world is never against you, unless you allow it to be, it is your choice. If you can't change the situation, change how you think about it. Be true to yourself, and believe that the world is there for you, if you want it.

I try to read "the Optimist Creed" (here is the creed and everything I've written about it)  by Christian D. Larson more or less every day, to remind myself of who I am and who I want to be. I think that if you try to live your life following these "rules", you're life will be amazing. I want my life to be amazing. My life actually is amazing already, because I live it by these "rules". My doctor used to say; "You should be in the driver's seat of your life, nobody else can get you where you want to go". Take control, be in charge, love yourself and your world and the world and your life will love you back.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

Forgiving is healing for body and soul!

I don't want to be a prisoner so I decided a while ago to forgive those who have hurt me over the years. I've been hurt in so many different ways by a number of different people. People that I considered to be good friends, even best friends have hurt me real bad. For no apparent reason at all. Even someone in my closest family hurt me really bad, at a time when I needed more love and support than ever before. Most people have been hurt one way or another, by someone. I let the same people hurt me several times at one point in my life. That was the time when I didn't love myself and I didn't believe that I was worthy anything good in my life.

I had to go deep into myself to figure out my own part in the different matters and I had to forgive myself for them before I could forgive anybody else. I think you carry around a lot of guilt after you have been hurt, guilt that you should have known better, or left sooner or told them off, or you shouldn't have said this or that or done this or that. The blame you put on yourself, whatever it is about, is a very heavy bourdon. It weighs you down. After I started to explore myself and forgive myself I noticed that I felt lighter and happier. And after I forgave the people that had hurt me I felt a big relief and even happier.

When I happened to look back on those events and people, before the forgiveness, I usually got physical symptoms like stomach ache, or head ache. Now I can look back on the same events and the same people and see the good times and the good moments I've had with those people before things went wrong. That is quite a nice feeling. I'm not saying that I would want to go back to being friends with them again, they were a part of my life in the past. I brought them all with me to the future and suffered from them in the present that was, until I forgave me and them. Now I've left them where they belong, in the past. They can't get to me anymore, I've outgrown them and I've moved on. They had their chances.

I used to be a prisoner, but I forgave and now I'm free and that is a fantastic feeling. Forgiving is healing.

Did someone hurt you and you carry around anger, quilt, regret or even hate? If so, you need to understand that all the emotions and negative thoughts you put on them don't affect them the least. All those negative feelings and thoughts just bounce back to you and make you feel even worse. Find it in your heart to forgive yourself and the one that hurt you. You won't regret it!

"If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." - Gerald Good

Make Gratitude your Attitude!

To be thankful for all that you've got and all that you are about to get, is not as easy as you might think. But it’s not as hard as you might think either. It's a matter of opening up your eyes and your heart to your life and focus on all the good things. Gratitude is a very important key if you want to be happy.

When I wake up in the morning I feel love and happiness for waking up next to the most wonderful man, and our cat. I feel grateful for it. As I look out the window and sea the Mediterranean Sea and the horizon above the roof tops, I feel thankful. I feel grateful for my diet that allows me to have cream in my coffee. Being thankful, feeling gratitude is falling in love. I fall in love with all the people, situations and things I feel grateful for. It's great to fall in love with my man over and over again, sometimes several times a day. It makes me happy that I am thankful for everything.

I know what I expect in the future, I know what I want for me in life and I am grateful for that. I know I will get it all, as long as I"m thankful for what is to come. If you think that I sound like a religious fanatic now, you are wrong. I am not religious, although I might be a bit of a fanatic. But here"s the thing. Since I started to be thankful for things in my life (big and small) my life has turned around. I used to be a lot more depressed; I used to think that life treated me bad and unfair. That everybody else was better off than I was. I used to think that I would never find what I wanted in life and that I would never be as happy as I wanted to be.

Do you think that your house is too small, or your clothes are too old? Or maybe your hair is too straight, or your teeth are too yellow? Be grateful that you have a house, and that you have clothes. Be thankful that you still have your own hair and your own teeth. There are possibilities to be grateful for everything, every little detail, in your life. All the things you feel bad about, there is something about them to feel thankful for.

I can't remember what put me on to try thankfulness, but whatever it was I am thankful for it. Today I am happier than I ever thought possible. My dream about living by the blue sea under the warm sun came true. My dream about writing has come true with this blog. My dream of being happy came true. My dream about finding the perfect man for me came true. I believe it all started with gratitude for what I already had, back then. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill and a lot of dreams to expand. They will all come true too, I know that, and I am thankful for it. All my dreams will come true!! How cool is that?!

What are you thankful for in your life? List all the things in your life that you love, no matter how small and silly it seems. Those things are what you should be grateful for, that is what you should focus on. Be grateful, it will change your life around to the better!

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." - James M. Barrie

Bring sunshine into the lives of others by sharing your love.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself and about your own life is to "bring sunshine into the lives of others". This blog is me sharing the knowledge I've gathered, my wisdom of life. I share it with you because it makes me feel good, but also because maybe what I know, what I've experienced and what I share might help one of you out there that is reading this. I'm hoping that I bring a little bit of sunshine into someone else's life. I love helping people find their way to what they want, what they love and dream of. It makes me happy when I can help someone else be happy.

I believe that what you give is what you get, but you get more than you give. I started this blog only a couple of weeks ago, and good things are starting to happen in my life. In the last three days, out of the blue, it's been decided that my son, who I haven't seen for 6 months will come for a 3 week visit and he's getting the flight here paid from someone who normally never pays for anything that can benefit me. What a miracle! That's not all though, it has also been decided that my sister will come for a visit in a few months time, I haven't seen her for a year and a half. The flights were booked and paid for within a few others from first thought. Another miracle! I get to see two of the most important people in my life, the two people that I want to see the most, that I haven't seen for a far too long time and I am so happy.

I am convinced that my attitude towards life and my wish, and my actions, to try to bring sunshine upon others is what make all these things happen, without there being any effort put into it. I also think that it helps a lot that I am genuinely happy for my friends that have a lot of nice things going on in their lives, even though it means that they are leaving me to move far away. I love it when good things happen to people around me, it gives me the chills. Good chills. "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves." (James m. Barrie) As long as I keep doing what I'm doing, the sun will keep shining on me.

Are you bringing sunshine into someone's life? Are you happy for other people? Do you have good things happening in your life? Are you sharing your love, without asking for anything in return? If not, try it, it's a great feeling. If you are already doing it, keep doing what you’re doing!

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." - E.E. Cummings

Cats are funny and makes you laugh.

How often do you laugh? Do you laugh every day? Several times a day? Or less than every day? I think we can all agree that laughing makes you feel better, mentally and physically, at least for the moment. If I've had a real burst out loud laugh moment, I usually want another one as soon as possible. Because it made me feel good, even great, and the moments after a great laugh feel a bit empty. Do you feel like that too? Some of my best memories are from moments of great laughter. With friends, family or alone.

Laughing makes me happy, and that is a normal reaction. Laughing releases substances in your brain that makes you happy, it reduces the amount of stress hormones in your brain, relaxes you and so on. Those are all things I am aiming for in everything I do. Happiness being the main one. Now, I don't mean that I want to walk around in life and laugh at everything all the time. That would just make me a lunatic. But I do think that laughs, big and small, are very important for you to feel good about yourself and your life. And feeling good about yourself and your life is something that is necessary to be happy.

What makes you laugh? I laugh at all sorts of things, silly people, our cat, sarcastic humour, my friends, stuff on tv, mistakes I make, a funny story, a funny book or a funny film. The list can go on for a long time. I probably laugh at least 20 times a day. Not always big aloud laughs, sometimes they are more like giggles. Giggles count too. I’m not counting smiles today though, but they are sort of laughs too but in a smaller dosage. I used to want to go to laughing classes, I don’t need that anymore, but I think it can be a great thing to do if you don't laugh enough in your life.

As e.e.cummings, I too believe that a day without laughter is a day wasted. Every day is a good day to laugh, without exceptions. Did you laugh yet today? I have, several times already.

"When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." - Abraham Lincoln

Go with the good feelings, reject the bad.

This is the key! If you do good, you will feel good and if you do bad, you will feel bad. I believe that Abraham Lincoln was spot on about that. Because that's how it is, isn't it!? It is for me anyway. And I'm not only talking about doing good for other people, it works the same way when it's for me. If I do something for me, no matter what it is, and it doesn’t feel good it's not going to be good. That helps me know that it's not worth doing.

When I make decisions about something in my life, the first thing I do is to sit down and really think about it. I will think about the goal in question and I will be alert if it makes me feel good or bad. I mean proper good or bad. Does thinking of the goal make me feel happy? If it does, I know I'm on the right track. If it makes gives me any bad feelings I will know that that goal is not for me. If it makes me feel good, I know that it will happen, that I will reach that particular goal, maybe not right now, but when I'm ready for it. In due time.

This was how this blog came about, it started as a vague idea about six months ago. The idea of writing down my thoughts and beliefs about life and share them with others made me so happy. (It gives me a reason for why I've been through all the things I've been through in life) But then I got stuck, every time I thought about HOW to do it I got a bad feeling, so I eventually let it go. Until a couple of weeks ago, when it popped up in my head and I had a clear idea of how to do it. And it made me feel good!! So here I am, proud and happy and excited about this new thing in my life. And no matter what happens, and no matter what you think about me, my thoughts and my blog, I will always know that I did it because it made me feel good and happy and I did it in a way that I can be proud of. Every little detail is thought over, and felt good about.

So stay away from the things, actions and thoughts that make you feel bad and go for all the good feelings you can have. It is worth it, and it is so easy to do. And honestly, it is a fundamental tool to becoming happy and for me the only way to live my life. Good luck and feel good!

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” - Abraham Lincoln

Is this true? I think it is. If you make up your mind and make a conscious choice to be happy, then you will be. But on the other hand, if you make up your mind that you need a certain person, a certain job, a certain thing, a certain house or a certain car to be happy then you never will be. You will feel a bit of joy once you get that person, job, thing, house or car, but that is not happiness. Happiness is being content with who you are and what you’ve got ALL the time. It goes hand in hand with love, that I wrote about yesterday. If you love everything in your life, you will be happy. If you choose to see the bad, less good or lack of things in your life, you are not happy. The only way to be happy is to be happy NOW. The good thing about that is that NOW is always. NOW is where you are right NOW, whenever it is.

In my experience most people are afraid of being happy. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with being afraid of losing it once they’ve “found” it. Or maybe it is just safer to remain where they are and pretend that they’re happy. Or what if the people around them will look down on them, or whisper about them, if they would be happy. I think all these things apply for a lot of folks out there. None of them are true though. If you are truly happy you can’t lose it because it comes from within you, it is not easier to remain in a state of false happiness than it is to be truly happy (quite the opposite actually), and people around you WILL look at you differently but they will whisper about how happy you seem to be and they will think about how much they envy you. How do I know all this? Because I’ve been the first one, the one being scared of true happiness, and I am the second one, the one actually being happy.

How did I get there? I made a conscious decision to be happy and I changed the things inside me, to be able to change the things outside of me to get there. If you are completely happy with who you are, and where you are I congratulate you to your wise decision. If you are not completely happy, maybe you need to take a look at yourself and your life and make up your mind where you want to be and be happy with it.